Wednesday, March 16, 2016

California Dreaming

During the last week of February, I got to spend nearly a whole week in Southern California with the majority of my family. We all took shelter in my brother and sister-in-law’s new house in Winchester. ‘Twas awesomesauce.

Well, the beginning of the trip was far from the sauce of awesome. Jordan was unable to come, so I flew with Jo solo. We had one layover in Phoenix. When we landed in Phoenix and I went to retrieve my stroller (all while holding a very heavy sleeping dead weight of a son), I saw that my stroller had been placed at the gate and someone even took the time to set it up and open it….one problem, though. It was MISSING A WHEEL! I asked an employee to please retrieve the rouge wheel, as it had most likely fallen off in the plane. Sadly, they looked and declared it MIA, which made my stroller a three wheel piece of useless trash.
Sleeping lug of a kid at the airport.

They checked my stroller to San Diego and offered me a wheelchair to use throughout the Phoenix airport. That didn’t work. I FINALLY got to my gate and miraculously, Jo was still out cold. While I began to relax, the front desk worker got on the microphone and said something along the lines of the following:
“Hey everyone going to San Diego. We just got a weather warning that it is super foggy in San Diego. We MIGHT be able to get on our plane as scheduled and land there, but we MIGHT also have to land somewhere totally different, and no, we have no clue where that might be. There’s also a chance that this flight will get cancelled. Never mind that fact that it is already late at the night and the next flight to San Diego is tomorrow morning IF THERE ARE EVEN SPOTS AVAILABLE. Ok, BYYYYYE!”

Naturally, I did what I do best when my panic and stress collide- I cried. No wailing and sobbing, but enough crying to allow everyone in the gate to give me the side-eye “Is that chick ok” look. Thankfully, a man sitting across from me explained that he was a retired pilot, and based on what he looked up on the fog, it didn’t seem serious and he predicted that my flight would be fine. That calmed me down a little, though I was still so stressed until I FINALLY heard that words from our captain that we were clear to land. Phew.

So after all the pains of flying TO California, the remainder of my time was excellent.
My brother has an amazing backyard. He recently added a patio, a track (or bikes, trikes, and scooters), a bunch of fruit trees, and in-ground trampoline, and a gymnastics bar. Kind of puts our backyard with a nonworking hot tub and garden of weeds to shame. The best part was it was perfectly safe to let Jo wander around with minimal supervision.

It was so fun to see Jo interact with his cousins. All of his cousins from my side were in the same house, so he was never lacking any attention.

One day, we spent the whole morning and afternoon at Oceanside Beach. Jo was so thrilled to be there, that while we were packing up to leave the house to head to the ocean, he kept grabbing my hand saying, “Go BEACH! Go BEACH!”  His high hopes for the beach were met and exceeded. He had a blast! So did I, despite the freeeeeeezing water. Thank goodness for my sister-in-law’s wet suit. I was able to boogie board for the first time in a long time, and it felt great.

I often feel so down when I think of how spread out my family is, but trips like this one help me to feel hope that we can still remain close to one another. I’m so glad my siblings, their families, and my parents made coming to California a priority. I love them all.

Turning two.

And just like that, my little guy will be two this week.

I am so happy that Jo is alive, healthy, and well. I know so many mothers in the world don’t get to celebrate their children’s second birthdays. I am trying so hard not to get sad as my baby gets older, and to remember that growing older is a privilege.

But I am not made of stone. Cue the water works.

I am not going to lie, this birthday (as well as my own upcoming birthday) is tough on me. I always imagined that when Jo turned two, I would be super pregnant with the next bundle-o-baby, or at least pregnant at all. It’s hard to see him grow up so quickly when the next baby’s timeline is unknown. It also makes me sad to know that every day that passes make Jo THAT much older and further apart than his future siblings.  

It’s so bittersweet to see him grow. I LOVE listening to him talk nonstop and learn new words. I love hearing him try to string words together into commands and questions. But it also breaks my heart to see him abandon some of his baby-talk vocab. Monkeys are just monkeys now, they will never be “Ah-Ahs” again. When he ever so politely says, “please”, it will only be “please”, never again “BEEZ!” I’m glad he is learning and correcting himself, but does he have to do it so quickly? Thankfully, he still refers to himself as “you” and calls milk “guk”. I am clinging to these precious words.

Plus, now that he is two, he actually costs money to fly, amiright?? Since birth, he has been on 17 one-way flights (not including layovers) and they were ALL FREE! Now every trip will cost me double. Ew ew ew.

In the end, I am happy to watch him mature and have his sweet personality further shine. I have to accept that time isn’t slowing itself down, and I am satisfied with how much time I get to spend with my boy. Sometimes being a stay-at-home mom is dull, but I know that I will miss many parts of it when this phase is gone, so I am doing well at savoring all the crazy moments with Baby, now TODDLER Jo.

Now, if we can just keep age THREE from sneaking up on me, that would be great.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Some more books

For about a month straight, I was hooked on reading. This is typical for me- read a ton of books in a row, then stop for several months. Here are the books I've read since December:

These is My Words: The Diary of Sarah Agnes Prine, by Nancy E. Turner. Oh, my heart. This book. I can't even. I loved it. I'm mad at it. I don't know what I am. This book is loosely based on the author's ancestor's diary of her life in Arizona Territories during the late 19th century. This book is SATURATED in sad events. I read this book during my stay in Seattle for Christmas, and I kept telling my sister and mom, "I am too scared to read my book! Something bad might happen." However, I loved loved loved the protagonist. And I literally fell in love with her love interest. No joke. I actually would have to close the book and sigh and swoon over him. Haha. This book certainly would not be classified as a romance novel, but oh me oh my is it ever so romantic at times! Not bow-chicka-bow-wow romantic, but ACTUALLY romantic.

Pretending to Dance, by Diane Chamberlain. This book was a quick, captivating read. I can't decided if I liked the whole story, but I was certainly locked into it, which is always good for a book. The story is told in first person narrative, with the protagonist jumping back and forth between present time and the summer of 1994, when she was 14.

The Silent Sister, by Diane Chamberlain. After reading Pretending to Dance, I thought I would try another one of Diane Chamberlain's books. This one was lame-o. It was supposed to be a thriller with twists....but I GUESSED at least two of the three main twists. The characters were all rather unlikable, and toward the end of the book, I found myself skimming for the dialog. Meh.

The Girl on the Train, by Paula Hawkins. I really enjoyed this book. It is a mystery thriller that was very well written. Unlike The Silent Sister, I kept changing my mind on the twists. I also kept going back and forth over being disgusted by each character and then pitying them.It is told by three separate narrators, and it was fascinating to see the three separate women's story collide.

Why Not Me?, by Mindy Kaling. I actually listened to the audio book. I was not all that enchanted with this book, which was disappointing because I really enjoyed Mindy Kaling's first book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? This one felt a little more braggy and her essays were longer-winded. But I didn't dislike all of it. Some of the essays were fun to listen to, and I still like Mindy....even if she likes Elizabeth Warren.

Diary of A Wimpy Kid, by Jeff Kinney. Yes, this book is written to ten year olds....what's your point? I've heard good things about the series, and I recall several of my former clients liking these books. My library had it on audio, and it was a fun story to listen to while I drove around. I didn't like it as much as I have loved other intermediate fictions, but it was still cute.

A Child's Prayer

Tonight, as we were getting Baby Jo ready for bed, we were ready to say our evening family prayer. Normally, this involves us coaxing him to fold his arms (which as soon as we start speaking, he unfolds them and lunges for my hair). However, tonight was different.

As we asked him to fold his arms for prayer, he did so and then said, "Try! Try! Try!" This was been his catchphrase lately, as he has been more interested in trying to do things himself. Jordan asked, "Do you want to say the prayer, Buddy?" He exclaimed, "Yeah!" Jordan helped by telling him what to say. Here is the script. Jordan's part is in italics.

Dear Heavenly Father,  Hebba Fabba
Thank you for Mama, Doo Doo Mama
Thank you for Dada, Doo Doo Dada
Thank you for Jesus, Je-us! Je-us! Doo Doo Je-us!
In the Name of Jesus Christ, Je-us Cwist
Amen, MEN!

It was so cute and so sweet. I feel like my heart is going to burst. That little boy drives me up the wall sometimes, but I am amazed at how much we love him.

Jordan rocked Baby Jo in his ricking chair before bed, and he said that Jo kept repeating, "Je-us Cwist uh-men!" So precious.


Wednesday, December 30, 2015

2015

I described 2013 as the best year ever. I described 2014 as exhausting. How would I describe 2015? I'm not so sure. A mix of happy and utter sorrow. Harrow? Haprow? I don't know.

There has been so much beauty in this year. I started the year with a precious little baby and ended the year with an amazing, busy toddler. That has most definitely been the highlight of this year, watching my sweet son transform. He is CONSTANTLY talking, and it's most often in English. He still speaks a little "Jonahese" every now and then. He doesn't walk anywhere, but runs. The only time I see him slow down is when he approaches our tile entryway while wearing his footie jammies. Other than that, he's hauling. He loves music, and it's been awesome to see him try so hard to sing along. He started attending nursery at church (and I spy on him every single week). He can say so many words, understand even more, and is growing constantly. It's been overwhelming to feel so much love and wonder for my little man.

Jordan's professional life has made big improvements this year. He received a raised and has gotten a lot of recognition for his hard work and skills at his office. He has found his spot at work, and he really enjoys his boss and job. Plus, with his hard work, we were able to pay off our student loans this year! On Thanksgiving, we gave Sally Mae her last piece of pie. We are thrilled.

We didn't go on any exotic vacations this year, but we had some nice getaways. I got to go to Seattle three times, as well as Oregon to visit my sister and her new baby. We did several weekend trips to Tulsa. In June, we took our first trip WITHOUT Jo when we went to Vegas, which was a lot of fun. In September, Jordan and I took another trip sans toddler to Dallas for a weekend. Other than that, our travels were pretty simple this year.

Another highlight of 2015 was seeing my family. Oh, how I miss my family members. I got to see my sister three times this year (for a total of about four weeks, which was nice. Yay for long visits!), I got to see my oldest brother's family twice, and I got to see my other oldest brother's family once. I got to go home for Christmas. I got to have my parents come for a week to visit me here in Oklahoma. My brother and his family stayed a week with us, which was heavenly. I'm so happy to see everyone.

On the flip side, I have missed my family so much this year, much more than the previous years. My homesickness is always there, though its intensity fluctuates. This year, however, it never seemed to fade. I think part of it is because we don't really have an end in sight here in Oklahoma. That worries me. Also, I am seeing my siblings all settle where they are, and I struggle to know how we can live close by. 

This year, we had to say goodbye to Jordan's beloved grandfather. We saw him last Christmas, and he was so happy and energetic. A mere four days later, he was in the hospital, and died a little over a month later. 

The world was so sad this year. All the shootings, the political garbage, the sad cases of refugees....sometimes it was too much to bear just reading about it. There have been many days this year where I worry about the future for my son. It's a sad worry to have.

For me, the hardest part of the year has been the last two months. In July, we decided to go back on my fertility treatment. I had to wean Baby Jo, which broke my heart. July, August, and September resulted in no pregnancy. We were able to conceive in October. I found out on Halloween morning, and it was probably my happiest day of the whole year. Sadly, we found out a few days later that my hcg numbers were a bit low, and five days later I miscarried. I have spent November and December with a heavy dark cloud hanging over my head. Christmas was an ok distraction, but not great. I am embarrassed at how upset this makes me, as I know there are so many women who cannot have ANY children while I have my son, but I can't help my grief right now. It's been so hard to accept that my children won't be the age spacing that I had dreamed. It scares me that I won't be able to have as many children as I want to have in life, and I hate the uncertainty of getting pregnant again.I feel rather powerless, yet somehow completely responsible for my fertility. It's been emotionally and mentally exhausting. Plus, my doctor told me that my condition has a miscarry rate of 38%, which makes me sick to my stomach. I had such high hopes of ending this year with a pregnancy....but I hope 2016 will result in that. 

At the end of the day (and the end of the year), I am grateful for the past 12 months. Living them and experiencing them is far better than the alternative. I'm grateful for everyday I have on this earth; even the really sad, terrible days. 

In 2016, my goals are the following: get friggin' pregnant, take an exciting vacation without my kid, take a fun vacation WITH my kid, and to have fewer sad days and more happy days. Stay tuned!

Jordan's Birthday

Blog fail. I didn't write a tribute to Jordan for his birthday. Every year, I am so good at doing that, but the past two months have been hard ones. So here I am, a few weeks late. Happy Birthday to my guy. We spent the eve of his birthday doing what he loves at his "Happy Place": We golfed at the new driving range. He did well. I was terrible. But it was fun.

I love that action shot of him. He looks like he belongs on the top of a trophy. Happy Belated Birthday, Jordan. You make me laugh. You drive me crazy. You make me swoon. You make me roll my eyes. You make me happy.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Happy Intergalactic Halloween

In our home, Halloween is done like so: I choose our costumes, I make design/make/buy our costumes, and then Jordan wears whatever I give him on October 31. It works perfectly for us because I love to be in complete control of my favorite holiday, and Jordan likes not having to put any effort into it.

However, there was a little change this year.  In May of this year, we visited the Oklahoma Science Museum where the had a space exhibit. While looking at the various astronaut uniforms on display, Jordan asked, "Hey, have you already planned our Halloween costumes, because I think our little guy would be a cute astronaut!"

As a former child therapist, I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement. So when my normally apathetic-about-Halloween husband made a suggestion, I wanted to encourage him! I sewed Jo's costume from scratch (a first for me. Thank goodness fleece is so forgiving!) and made his jet pack out of two empty vinegar bottles. We did buy the helmet off Amazon because it was only about $6, which is worth NOT trying to papier mache a lumpy, dumpy helmet for him on my own.


And until Baby Jo starts protesting, I am committed to family theme costumes. Jordan and I were aliens. Our costumes were pretty simple, but after spending too much time on Jo's outfit, I was cool with that.

This was the first year that Jo Willy went trick-or-treating! Once he understood the concept that walking up to the door would result in candy being placed in his bucket, he was hooked! He attempted to go into houses each time they opened the door, and he successfully got through the door once! I felt pretty dumb running into the house saying, "Sorry sorry sorry!" We spent the whole month practicing how to say trick-or-treat. By the end of the month, Jo would say, "Tai-Tay!" It was adorable. However, tonight, he was completely silent the entire time. Oh well.



  And lastly, no Halloween would be complete without me carving a pumpkin. Here is this year's model:
I was hoping my son would share in the excitement of carving pumpkins, but unfortunately, he tends to lean more toward his dad on this one. He had ZERO interest in touching the pumpkin guts. I don't get it. That's the best part!

Happy Halloween!!

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Books

Here is another list of some books that I have read in the last few months.

Room, by Emma Donogue: Of all the books I have read this year, this one is my favorite. The story is told by Jack, a five year old boy who has grown up in captivity with his mother. This book was SUCH an emotional roller coaster; I felt sad, excited, angry, and terrified throughout the story. So many times I wanted to reach my arms out into the pages of the book and give Jack and his mother a hug. Great book.

Pretty Ugly, by Kirker Butler: This book gets a big "Meh" from me. It started out silly and fun, but ended up being over the top and unlikable, even for satire.

Bridget Jones' Diary, by Helen Fielding: My friend suggested this book to me as "a way to feel better about your life". It's a silly, lighthearted book about poor Bridget, a 30-something who doesn't know how to date, diet, or quit smoking properly. The story narrated through diary entries, which is fun.

Everything I Never Told You, by Celeste Ng: Oh, man. This book was heartbreaking. It's about a family struggling with the recent death of their teenage daughter/sister. There is no single protagonist. The narrator, though in third person, describes each family member's thoughts and feelings at various times throughout the book. So many times I wanted to scream at the characters, like I sometimes feel tempted to do in movies. It's beautifully written.

For the Right Reasons, by Sean Lowe: I am absolutely embarrassed to even write down that I read this book, but curiosity got the best of me.  I am a recovered Bachelor/Bachelorette viewer (two seasons sober! Taking it one step at a time), and there was so much of this ridiculous franchise that I wanted to get a scoop on. Sean, former Bachelor, who actually married his "winner", gives a lot of poorly written information about the other side of the show. Not surprisingly, the book was dumb and full of backdoor bragging.

Austenland, by Shannon Hale: This was my second favorite book in this bunch. The best word I can use to describe it is "Delicious". It's a quick, fun story; it was like reading candy. I identified so much with the protagonist, Jane, though our lives are quite different. The narration is funny and the characters are silly. I am SO GLAD that I didn't watch the movie first, because the movie was terrrrrrible.

Midnight in Austenland, by Shannon Hale: Obviously, I was excited to read this sequel, though it was not nearly as delightful. The lead character is different, and while I liked her ok, it just wasn't the same. The story is much different, as well as the writing. I ended up not finishing it.

Harry Potter Books, 1-4, by J.K. Rowling: One of my goals to complete before I turn 30 is to read all the Harry Potter books. Once my 29th birthday came and went, I got down to business and read/listened to the first four. I liked them, but I don't think I will ever be the hardcore HP lover that so many people are in my life. I would say my favorite so far is Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. The fourth book was so long, and I struggled to get into the story, so I have since slowed down my Hogwart's journey. I need to get back on it, I know.

I feel like I am forgetting some. Hmmm....

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

More Jo Willy Words

Our little guy's vocab has EXPLODED in the past two weeks. It's been so fun to hear all the new words that Jo has picked up. He surprises us everyday with a new word that he can say on his own without prodding... of course, after we hear him say it, the prodding ensues to get him to say it again. Jordan stated, "This is liking the best pet in the world!" I agree.

As of tonight, here is a list of his words:

Momma/Mommy
Dadda
Baby
Shoe
Ball (pronounced "Boh")
Book
Bird (pronounced "But"
Baba (bottle)
Bib (pronounced "Beeb")
Food (pronounced "Foo")
More (pronounced "Moh")
Car (pronounced "Cah")
Bike (pronounced "Bock")
Truck (pronounced "Chuck")
Wawa (Water)
Bath (pronounced "Baht")
Please (pronounced "Beez")
Tree (pronounced "Tee"
Keys
Teeth
Hat
Shirt (pronounced "Sheet")
Duck (prounced "Cuck")
Out
Yeah
No
Jesus (prounced "Jee-Jee", or "Jee-uh")
Fish (prounced "Feesh")
Eye
Hi
Bye
Cheese
Bear (pronounced "Bah")
Choo-Choo (train
Beep Beep
Vroom Vroom

He can also do the following animal sounds:

Cat = "Meow"
Dog = "HMM! HMM! HMM!"
Chicken = "Bahbahbah" (as in "Bock bock bock")
Monkey = "Aw Aw Aw" ( as in "Oo oo Aw Aw")
Bear/Tiger = "Raw!"
Cow = "Broo Broo" or "Moo"

I am gonna miss these adorable pronunciations! My favorites have to be "cuck" for duck, as well as "moh" for more. What I love is how he always says in an asking inflection. "Moh? Moh?" LOVE it.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Translation from 16 Month Old to English

Cah! (said with the cutest inflection): Car
Tuck: Truck
Cuck: Something that is either a car, or a truck.
Vum Vum Vum: Vroom Vroom Vroom
Bow!: Ball, or Book
Bow! (while moving hand like a talking beak): Bird
HMM HMM: Dog
At: Hat (this one is said approximately 10000000000 times a day)
Moh: More
She-ew: Shoe
Sheeee: Also Shoe
Shite: Shirt
Bah-Bah: Bottle
Mum: Mom
Mama: Also Mom
Dada: Dad
Nuh nuh nuh: No

Along with these adorable words, Baby Jo also signs hat, bird, more, socks, shoes, and train, and all done. He waves hello and goodbye, blows "kisses", high fives, kiiiinda does knuckles, and shakes his head emphatically when he does NOT want to do something. He has mastered the art of pointing at what he wants, as well.

It's been so fun to discover his new methods of communication! He is growing up so quickly. It's amazing to see words that he can understand well, even if he cannot say them. For example:

When I say "Time to take a bath," he runs to the bathroom door and starts banging on it.

When I say, "Time for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack," he runs and pats his high chair.

When I ask him if he wants to get the mail, he jumps up and stands by the door. The same goes for "Let's get in the car!"

We also like to play fetch with them, where we ask him to bring us certain items in the room and see if he knows what we are talking about. This reminds me of a cute story about this fetching game. We were having him bring us different toys that were directly in front of him, when Jordan asked him to bring us the owl. There was a small plastic owl a few feet in front of Baby Jo. He immediately turned around and ran away from us down the hall. We assumed he was done with the game and had moved onto a new adventure. However, about ten seconds later, Jo came running back to us with a huge smile on his face, carrying a stuffed animal owl from his bedroom. Adorable!

I simply cannot wait to see what new words he learns in the upcoming month. Stay tuned.