Monday, September 30, 2013


We are under contract to buy a house. Like, with a mortgage and equity and other grown up words that scare me! We are so excited to have a house together (we have both been apartment dwellers since starting school at BYU), and we feel this is a good decision for us. Still, it scares the crap out of me. Our realtor has been incredibly helpful and is holding our hand through the process and meeting with us for each step of the way.

But it's still scary.

I worry about dumb things, like "Oh, the fire place is gas only! Our kid will be confused how Santa gets down it!" or "What if our neighbors are mean?" or "What if Jordan gets hit by a car on his bike and I am left a widow/single mother with a friggin HOUSE in OKLAHOMA???"

Welcome to my mind, folks. It's not pleasant.

For the most part, we feel like this is a smart move for us. We really want to stay in the area we live in currently (which is super close to Jordan's work, has one of the best school districts in the state, and has a very low crime rate), and we know for sure we want to live in a house when the baby comes. I really don't want to have to carry a car seat back and forth between our apartment and the complex parking lot. Plus, we only have two bedrooms and our second bedroom is full of TONS of stuff. We looked at renting houses in our area and the rental price of a home is very close to the monthly payment our house will be. Plus, I reeeeeally want a dog, but refused to get one until I have a yard.

But it's still scary.

Our closing date is November 8, and we plan to move in sometime shortly after that.

We are quickly learning that adulthood is dang expensive, but it has its perks.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The First Trimester

My first trimester started off great. I found out I was pregnant very early on, at about 3 weeks. From weeks 3-5, I felt sleepy, but otherwise great. I could exercise without any problems and my appetite was normal. I was craving salty things (like drinking straight chicken broth and eating dill pickles), but I wasn't sick at all. I gave my stomach props and thought, Maybe I will be one of the lucky ones who don't get sick at all.

Then week 6 came.

It was like a someone flicked a switch. One day, I was happily munching on veggies and cup-o-noodles, the very next morning the sight of cup-o-noodles in my pantry looked like death. All food looked disgusting and I felt like total crap. I tried to convince myself that it was all in my head. I did the ultimate test- I bought and cooked an artichoke. I have NEVER met an artichoke that I didn't like....until this one. I chocked it down and kept trying to convince myself to like it. No such luck. That's when I knew that this was the real deal.

All I ate for weeks was graham crackers and milk. I would try to force feed myself healthy things, but usually would end up gagging. One day I remember I held up an apple and declared, "I'm gonna eat this!!" I only was able to get down about 4 bites and I surrendered. What was odd is I only threw up a handful of times, but when I did it was always after eating some type of fruit.

Though it sucked to hate the sight of food (going on pinterest and seeing meals was dreadful, and grocery shopping was overwhelming. Ew!), I tried to stay positive. I often reminded myself that I would rather feel miserable and be pregnant than feel great and not be pregnant. My friend gave me good advice too. She said, "Every day that I was sick, I felt like it was my baby telling me that it was still in there and alive." I held onto that as well.

Another weird thing that bothered me was textures. When we visited Jordan's parents in Tulsa for a weekend, my mother-in-law had just shampooed her carpets. Her carpets were nice and clean, but because they were slightly damp, they made feel sick. I vomited once just from the carpet, and then wore shoes the rest of the weekend.

When I was about 9 weeks along, we decided to share the news with Jordan's family. We gave Jordan's father a birthday present (it was at a party for him) that said: "Coupon good for one grandchild. Valid in March 2014." (Don't worry, we got him a real present, too.) The following week, we went to St. George for a family reunion with MY family, and when we were all in the same room, I came into the room wearing THIS shirt:

It was so fun to tell everyone! My nieces were excited. My 5 year old niece told me matter of factly, "When your baby is born, I hope it doesn't die." Me too, kid, me too.

Here are 2 tummy shots of the first trimester. I started to show toward the's only going to get bigger, huh?

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Finding Out

I was planning on writing a more detailed account of our journey to pregnancy, but decided that at this time, I don't really feel like broadcasting it to the world. Instead, I'll give the short version: We had over a year of patience, prayers, discouragement, tears, worries, fasting, frustrating, and pills.

When it had been nearly a year since we began trying to conceive,  we made an appointment with an OB that was known for helping with fertility issues. Our insurance didn't cover any fertility specialists, and a few friends from church recommended this doctor for help with getting pregnant, so we decided to give him a try. We were able to see him in June. During our initial appointment, he explained that based on my history and increasingly irregular/absent periods, it appeared that my body was just not wanting to ovulate. He was able to do an ultrasound which showed that I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (something that my Tulsa doctor said I DIDN'T have). He explained that he was going to place us on his "Infertility Protocol", which was an extremely detailed monthly plan of various prescription drugs, over the counter drugs, which days of the cycle to take them, checking cervical mucus (my favorite. Yuck!), and having monthly ultrasounds of my ovaries. My doctor explained that with all the patients he places on this regimen, 60% of them get pregnant within six months. I know for infertility, these are generally good odds, but all I heard when he said that statistic was "you have a 40% chance of still not being pregnant in six months." He explained that after six months of trying this protocol unsuccessfully, we would move on to more evasive procedures.On a positive note, he explained that since I was not having periods, he just declared that appointment day one of my cycle, which meant I could start the regimen that week!

Though it was a little overwhelming to begin a medication for "infertility", I tried to think positive. I felt proactive and hopeful. That day, we went straight to the pharmacy, got our collection of pills, and began that night. On day 9 of the regimen, it seemed as though I had ovulated. I found this confusing, since according to the protocol paperwork, I wasn't supposed to ovulated until day 13-16. On day 12, I went in for my ultrasound to check on my ovaries. My doctor said that everything looked normal (though there were several string of pearl cysts) and on the ultrasound there appeared to be en egg ready to go. He predicted that I would ovulate within the next 48 hours. I told him that I had some ovulation symptoms a few days prior, and he explained that it is possible to ovulate twice with the medications that I was on, or it was possible that I hadn't ovulated when I thought I had.

Over the next two days, each ovulation test I took was negative. Then the next day. Then the next. I was getting a little discouraged because I thought this meant that my body was still not ovulating. Then I took a new test the following morning, and it was positive. I had no other ovulation symptoms other than the test. The next day I took an ovulation test and it was positive. "Ok, this is normal, " I thought. But then the next two days, both of my daily ovulation tests were positive. It's pretty much impossible to ovulate for 4 days. I was a little confused about what the heck was going on.

The following morning was July 2nd. I woke up at 4:00 am having to pee. I am supposed to take my ovulation tests during my first bathroom break of the morning, so I did my thaaang and got yet ANOTHER positive ovulation test. WHAT THE CRAP?! That's when I had a light bulb go off. I thought that maybe all these positive ovulation tests had something to do pregnancy. I got out a pregnancy test and took it. We always use the ClearBlue digital test because it is very accurate and easy to read. I HATE that test though because after you wet the test, it has this obnoxious blinking digital sand timer that blinks and blinks and blinks and then the words "NOT PREGNANT" pop up. This time, after I wet the test I set it aside to avoid the blinking anxiety. After a few minutes, I dared to look at the test and this is what I saw:
I was so surprised! I immediately took out the second test and this time I sat and watched the dang blinking sand timer. Sure, enough, it read "pregnant" as well. So there I was, 4:00 in the morning, alone in our bathroom, so giddy that I was about to scream. I had idea what to do. Should I wake up Jordan? Should I wait until he gets up at 7:00? Should I surprise him with a fancy dinner when he gets home from work? I decided that there was NO way that I could wait any longer. I ran back into our room and start kissing Jordan all over his cheeks (something he doesn't mind when he's awake but HATES when he is asleep, and being the good wifey that I am I made sure to do it). He grumbled, "Hmph! What...What is it?" I whispered in his ear, "I'm pregnant". His voice suddenly became less groggy. "Wait, What?! What? Really?!" I showed him my two new positive pregnancy trophies. He was super excited, and after a few minutes said, "I'm so it ok if I go back to sleep?"

I left him alone to rest but there was NO way I was going back to sleep. I was WAY too pumped on adrenaline. Not only was I happy about my pregnancy, I was soooo thrilled that the treatment I was on worked for the first cycle. If it was possible, I would've have given my baby making parts fist bumps. "Way to go ladies! Nice team work!" July 2nd, 2013 was a wonderful, wonderful day.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Life is about to get more interesting....

We are having a baby! I am due in March, and we are thrilled....and a little scared.