Tuesday, December 31, 2013


January: Quit my job, moved to OKC, took a trip to Seattle and Southern Oregon to see my sister and her family.

February: Took and passed my LCSW exam, had my mom visit for a week.

March: Traveled to Arizona to see my sister-in-law and nieces for a week.

April: Traveled to Idaho for my cousins's wedding reception and spent a week in Seattle with my family.

May: Took a two week trip to Europe.

June: Went camping with Jordan for the first time and went on a trip with him to St Louis.

July: Found out I was pregnant!

August: Went to a family reunion in St George and saw my whole family.

September: Put on offer on our house.

October: Went to NYC for four days, found out we are having a boy!

November: Attended Jordan's brother's wedding, moved into our house.

December: Threw a party for Jordan's 30th birthday, went to Seattle for two weeks for Christmas.

2014 has some big shoes to fill.

Monday, December 30, 2013

A Death in the Family

When I was 13, I was trying to gain some independence and declared that I needed my own alarm clock. I think it was because I was starting to primp more for school in the morning around this time. I honestly don't remember. But I do recall absolutely needing my own alarm clock.

My dad took me to Fred Meyer's one evening to their electronics department. Back in those days, a HUGE portion of the electronics section was reserved for various alarm clocks. My, how times have changed. We checked out a few various clocks (ones with way high-tech features like a radio! Oooooh), and then I saw it. It was the Wacky Wake-up. And it needed to be mine.

This was no ordinary alarm clock, folks. Aside from its radio feature, it had "wacky" numbers. See how they are crooked? GENIUS! But more importantly, instead of having a beeping or buzzing alarm, it had seven different voices that would wake you up. For example, one was a stereotypical Indian accent that said, "Up, up! It's time to get up! Get out of bed with you!" Or there was the stereotypical Italian-American mobster voice that said, "I once had an Uncle At'ny. Each time his alarm went off, he hit snooze. 'Time to get up'- SNOOZE! 'Time to get up'- SNOOZE....now he's the LATE Uncle At'ny." You get the idea. To add to its wackiness, after each voice would state its monologue, the clock would make a random sound, such as a a jackhammer, a dripping water fountain, etc. In the store, it was amazing! We bought and it took it home. Then in the morning I realized something- "wacky" sounds and voices are TERRIBLE TO WAKE UP TO AT 6 A.M.! Still, I kept the clock.

The Wacky Wake-Up stayed with me through high school and college. My poor roommates had to endure it. I never trusted my cell phone alarm. Then I got married, and the clock came with me to Oklahoma. Jordan hated it, of course, but I didn't care. It was my special, annoying clock.

Sadly, over the past few months, the clock's voices became increasingly muffled, and the clock was unable to stay on time. It would gradually add minutes to the time despite no one touching it. Jordan continuously made the valid point that it was officially useless (a clock that won't tell time- sounds like something from the Island of Misfit Toys), and that it needed to be unplugged. For some reason, I was very hesitant to do it. I've always been guilty of being a little sentimental over things, and the dumb alarm clock was no exception. But, when we moved to our new home, I finally realized it was time.

RIP, Wacky Wake-UP and your seven different annoying personalities. You will be strangely and unexplainably missed.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Ode to Jordan's 20's

Today is the last day that Jordan can say he is "in his 20's". He turns the big 3-0 tomorrow. He has occasionally made the comment of how he feels old and how it's weird to think his 20's are almost done forever. However, he has also said something along the lines of this statement a few times: "Ya know, I think I made the most of my 20's." Looking back on the last decade of his life, I couldn't agree more. So, here is Jordan's 20's swan song.

I wasn't around much for the first part of his 20's, so all I write for them is pretty much heresay.

 Age 20
Jordan entered his 20's while he was on his mission in Germany. This is the only picture of him on facebook during his mission. I COULD go and scan a hard copy...but I won't. He was so tiny! His mission was tough, as Germans weren't the most welcoming of people when it came to American young men trying to teach them about religion. Jordan told me that he had a lot of dark, hard days that were really discouraging. But he also has told me countless fun and uplifting stories about how much he loved his mission. It seems for the most part, he really loved this time of life.
Age 21
 Jordan went back home to Tulsa shortly after he turned 21. When he got back from his mission, he spent the first 4-5 months at home working. Most of his friends were either away to college or still on their own missions, so he was pretty bored. He started going to the gym nearly daily for hours, worked on weight lifting and drank of ton of protein shakes/muscle milks. Hence, this is the year he went from scrawny lil' guy to the more muscly, bulky Jordan that I have always known.

Age 22
When he was 22, he took his first trip back to Germany. Guess he was a little homesick for his beloved Vaterland. 
This was also the age that I first met Jordan. Of course, at the time he was only my boyfriend's roommate that I was pretty sure didn't like me. This is our only picture of us "together" when Jordan was 22. As you can see, we weren't super close yet. Haha. There are three people between us. We have since closed the gap.

 Age 23
When Jordan was 23, he had  moved from being "my boyfriend's roommate" to "my ex-boyfriend's roommate", so we didn't really hang out much. I recall running into him on campus several times and we usually would chit chat for about 20 seconds and be on our way. So I have no picture of the two of us this year. Jordan spent this age mostly at BYU, but he also went BACK to Germany AGAIN, spent his summer with his homies in Oklahoma, and traveled to NYC with his buddies.

Age 24
What a fun Jordan year. This was the age where Jordan and I dated. Aw, 24 year old Jordan...so naive to the amount of craziness he had signed himself up for when he started pursuing me. This year was so fun. He was (and still is) quite the charmer and romantic. I'll always look back at this age of Jordan's life with happiness.

Age 25
What an eventful age! A few weeks after Jordan turned 25, he proposed to me. A few month later, we graduated from BYU, got hitched, and moved to Tulsa so I could go to grad school. 

Age 26
Jordan turned 26 while we were visiting Tucson. He had just interviewed for a PA school. When he was 26, he got into PA school at OU-Tulsa and began that educational journey.We also did a church history tour with my parents that year and went to Branson with his parents. Here's a picture of the first of many attempts I had at making him a birthday cake, as well as a picture of his first day in his PA school program, where he was given his white coat.

Age 27
Hmm...not the most eventful age for Jordan. He mainly spent it at school. We did go on a cruise for our anniversary that year, which was probably the highlight of age 27 for Jordan. 

Age 28
Another year full of school, only harder. Jordan spent the whole year doing clinical rotations. He also applied to some jobs and at the end of age 28, he got the offer from the doctor he works for now. As for fun, we did take a trip to Disneyland/Southern California that year, which was his very first time going to Disneyland EVER! He was about 23 years late!
Jordan also lost about 18+ lbs this year. We never took a before or after shot of it, so it's hard to show photos documenting it. It was basically because he was so busy with his rotations at the hospital, the only time he ate was at the hospital cafeteria when he had time. He was given a food card and so he always got grilled chicken or a salad. When he was at home, his mean wife never (and I mean NEVER) cooked, so he resorted to eating a lot of cereal for a few months.

Age 29
What. A. Year! I would say this final act of his 20's was definitely Jordan's most eventful one. He graduated PA school, we moved from Tulsa to OKC, he began his career, we went to Europe, He knocked up his wife, we bought a house, we traveled to St.George, St. Louis, Oregon, and New York. It's been a crazy year, and a crazy great one to end his decade.

So there's the proof that Jordan's 20's were pretty dang good. I feel so lucky to be able to have been a part of this chapter of his life, and I can't wait to see what his 30's bring. I suspect a lot of awesomeness.

Friday, November 8, 2013


For this year's Halloween, we were zombies. This decision was entirely based on my desire to incorporate my baby bump into my costume (I figure if I have to get fat, I might as well use it to my advantage). Here is how the costumes turned out:

We wore our costumes to our ward's Halloween party. I had a few kids come up and ask if my baby was real. Yeah, kid. My fetus punched its way through my abdomen and I decided to just keep him that way. 

Our make up was not too elaborate or zombie-like. This was mainly due to Jordan's hesitation to put make up on right before his brother's wedding (which was 2 days later). He was worried about breaking out. Here is a close up of my make up:

I also carved a pumpkin. I had left over baby doll legs from the doll I had to amputate for my costume:

And lastly, a HUGE Pinterest fail. I found these adorable Nightmare Before Christmas nails on Pinterest and tried to do it myself....no good. Haha

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Halfway there

I'm 21 weeks pregnant. OVER halfway there. What?

I must say, the rumors about the second trimester being the best one are true. It is better than the first in SO many ways. For one, I actually look pregnant and not just chunky. Additionally, it is fun to be able to talk openly about being pregnant rather than keeping it a secret. That drove me CRAZY! I'm a fairly open person, and when it came to something that I was so excited about, holding it in was pretty sucky. The best part about the second trimester is NO MORE SICKNESS!! I love being able to eat in peace without fear of puking later.

Here are some pictures of my growing midsection during trimester:

Womp! I feel like my tummy has exploded. I feel HUGE! And before anyone coos about how I am not that big, save it. I've already been told multiple times that I look too big to be only 21 weeks. Awesome. My friend explained that she thinks it is because I am so short, that my baby can only grow OUT, not up and down. I'll stick with that theory, I suppose.

I reeeeally try to stay positive with my pregnancy because I truly see it as a blessing in my life, but it is not all peaches n' cream. I've heard some girls state the good, the bad, and the ugly of pregnancy. I feel that focuses too much of negative aspects, so instead I'll update my current status with the good, the hard, and the entertaining.

The Good: As I mentioned earlier, I am no longer sick. Woohoo! Also, I don't have any stretch marks on my stomach (yet). I am paranoid about getting them and have a daily regimen of dry brushing, exfoliating my stomach in the shower, and smothering my torso with vitamin E oil,  sweet almond oil, coco butter, and a lotion that Jordan got me. I'm sure many would roll their eyes and think "It's no use, she'll still get them," but I am determined to try to fight them off!

Another fun thing is according to the internet (which is ALWAYS accurate), my baby can hear! Mainly, he just hears the blood and heart, and sources say he can hear my voice too. This makes me so happy. I have become a singing fool! Anytime I am in the car by myself, I sing songs out loud, thinking my baby might hear something. One thing that I really look forward to is sing to and with my kid, so it makes me giddy. I am also constantly rubbing my belly. It's fun to think that between my hand and baby is just skin and guts.

The Hard: Sleep sucks. Whenever I don't have terrible insomnia, I struggle to get comfortable. I yearn to lay on my stomach or back. Once I finally DO fall asleep, I have crazy dreams that are so stressful, scary, or strange, that I hardly wake up relaxed and rested. Often my nightmares are interrupted by me waking up with sore legs. I bought a large body pillow which seems to help a little. 

Another hard thing is accepting my changing body. I'm embarrassed to say that I'm not as in love with my baby bump as I thought I would be. I always hoped I would be one of the lucky ones who only get big in their belly and the rest of their body looks the same. Sadly, everything between my armpits to my knees has gotten "softer". Blergh. Plus, even though I KNOW I have to gain weight during my pregnancy, it sure is hard to see the number on the scale go up and up. I'm now the heaviest I've ever been in my life, and I still have 4.5 months of pregnancy left. Gulp.

The Entertaining: Pregnancy brings out my emotions BIG TIME. For example, a few weeks ago I went shopping at Aldi's. Aldi's is a grocery store that offers discounted food, but the catch is you have to bag your own groceries and you can only use a debit card or cash to pay for your items. I had gone through the store, stocked up on all our groceries for the week and checked out. As the cashier was ringing up all my groceries, it hit me. I didn't have my debit card with me. I had taken out pretty much all wallet items from my wallet and purse except for my license and one credit card before I went to NYC to avoid theft. I told the teenaged cashier, "I am so sorry. I don't have my debit card or cash. I can't pay for any of this." He looked at me with a blank look and said something along the lines of "Uhhhhh...." I told him to just put my groceries in my cart and I would put them back. The cashier responded, "Uhhhh....k, Sorry." As I went to put the groceries back I could feel tears starting to swell. It really wasn't a big deal. Sure, it was annoying, but it was totally manageable. Then the manager came up to me and said, "Ma'am, you don't have to put those away. We'd be happy to do it for you." I croaked out an "Ok, thanks. Sorry!" and tried to scurry away as my tears began to flow. I speed walked to my car and as soon as I hopped in, I started to bawl. Like full on sobbing, like Jordan-just-died sobbing. I drove home having this conversation with my mind:

Mind: Chill out, this is not a big deal.


Mind: It's OK! Just go back tomorrow. Buy the same stuff. You have free time tomorrow.

Me: WAAAAAA!!!! *sniff sniff* WAAAAA!

Mind: Really? You do realize this is a total overreaction. You're making us both look bad.


Mind: Ok, fine. Go nuts. I give up.


See? Sometimes pregnancy can be downright entertaining.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Gender Results

 According to the....

Chinese Conception Calendar: Boy

Mayan Combination Test: Boy

Wedding Ring Test: Boy

The Childbirth.org Test:Girl

My own motherly intuition: Boy

Jordan's paternal intuition: Boy

Two ultrasounds (one at 16 weeks and one at 18 weeks):


Our little person is a little dude. When I heard and saw the gender, I was not surprised at all. Ever since I found out I was pregnant I have felt very strongly that it was a boy. Plus, I have always, ALWAYS pictured having a boy first. Before our ultrasound, I told Jordan that I was so convinced that it was a boy that I would be SHOCKED if it wasn't. I know that sounds weird, but it's true.
We are so excited to meet him, though I am mourning my little daughter that never was. I hope she comes someday. In the meantime, I look forward to being best buds with her big brother.

Friday, October 18, 2013

New York, New York: The City So Nice, They Named It Twice

Monday night, we got back from a fun trip to NYC!

This trip began in August, when I got a text from Jordan that simply stated, "We're going to New York in October!" Uh....We are? He THEN proceeded to explain that his supervising doctor wanted him to attend a two day training in New York. Because it was work related, Jordan's office paid for his plane ticket and hotel. What was EXTRA awesome was his doctor was like, "Hey, you should stay a few extra days and take your wife! No biggie. We'll still cover the hotel."

Yeah, I KNOW!

So of course, we bought a ticket for me and excitedly awaited our trip to the Big Apple.

We got in very late on Wednesday night, so that day was pretty uneventful. The next day we spent too much time trying to get into Jimmy Fallon via stand by tickets (don't ever try this, it is SO not worth the hassle) and right before the show was about to begin we were told that they could only take the first six people in line (we were numbers 12 and 13). We declared ourselves unlucky and left in a huff.

Because we weren't able to watch Fallon, we had some time to kill. I suggested we go to the Gerschwin Theater where Wicked has been playing on Broadway for the past 10 years. Wicked has a lottery where they save 26 front row center spots for lucky people who sign up in hopes that their names are called. If your name is called, you can buy up to two tickets for $30 a piece. When we got there, the line for the lottery was HUGE. I would estimate about 200 people. The odds were bad. Plus, I was still declaring us unlucky due to our denied entrance to the tv show. When they started calling names for the lottery, they called about 5-6 names that weren't ours. I kept saying to Jordan, "I know we won't get it. This is just an experience to be in the lottery." But then, sure enough the caller shouted out, "Alma....Hints?" WE GOT IN!!!! I couldn't believe it. I immediately changed out title to the LUCKIEST people in New York. We got to sit front row for Wicked, and it was ok....just kidding. It was ammmmmaaaaaaazzzzzzzzing! I had chills. I swear I made eye contact with several of the actors, and I probably looked really stupid because I was half-mouthing the words while they sang, but I don't care. It was so great!

Front Row, Suckuhs!

The next day (Friday) Jordan spent most the day in his training, and I walked to the Met. To described the Met in word would be: overwhelming. It is huge and confusing. Even when I had the free museum map, I still had to stop to ask for directions. I only covers about one fifth of the museum in 3 hours. But while I was there, I was able to see some very cool. famous works of art. It was amazing to see art that I learned about in high school and college. Especially Van Gogh's painting. He painted so thick on canvas, you can see individual strokes. I just stared at them thinking, "Wow, Vincent Van Gogh made those strokes." There were several Toulousse Le Trec paintings as well. It was fun to see them up close because he often painted on cardboard instead of canvases, and if you looked closely you could see the scratches in the cardboard, most likely from his sketch of the painting before adding paint. Amazing.

More work, because I'm a bit of an art history nerd (though I forgot so much of it, sadly. I swear Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me" was my theme song in every museum I visited in Europe and New York).

Jordan met me in Central Park after his class and together we hustled to the Nederlander Theater where the new musical Newsies was playing. Newsies also had a lottery, though they didn't give out front row seats. Their lottery seats are pretty much whatever is left over, such as obstructed view and left over balcony seats. I still wanted to try it because 1) the tickets were $30 a piece which is great for any Broadway show, and 2) NEWSIES!!!! Are you kidding me? One of my all time favorite musicals ever. we HAD to give it a shot. This time there were signficantly fewer people in the lottery (I would say about 60-70), so we had a good chance of getting called....and once again, we heard "Alma....Heintz?" Woohoo! We were seated in the fourth row on the very end, so we couldn't see about 25% of the stage, but we still loved it. The dancing was SO good, and they sang almost every song from the movie musical (though they changed many of the lyrics). It was an adorable show and I felt so lucky to have been able to see it.

The next day, we took it pretty easy. I hung out and walked around the Upper East Side (don't I sound so New Yorky? No? Ok...) and after Jordan's class we took a subway to Little Italy. We splurged on an authentic Italian three course meal and did not regret it!

The following day was Sunday. Jordan's class was over, so we took a subway downtown to the new 9/11 Memorial. It is still a work in progress, but they allow visitors to come. It was a beautiful, somber place to be. They transformed the building skeletons of the twin towers into two beautiful waterfall fountains. Around both fountains were engraved the names of every victim/deceased helper from 9/11. One of my favorite parts was the Survivor Tree. This tree survived the collapse of the towers (all trees were completely destroyed). The Survivor Tree was just a stump when they found it, but it appeared to be able to grow again. It was transported to the City Park where it was nursed back to health. Now is a lovely 30 foot tree that they transported back to the 9/11 site. Very sweet.

Sunday evening, we explored FAO Schwarz. I had fun on the famous giant piano, even if Tom Hanks didn't show up for a duet. Jordan had fun exploring Jordan-sized candy.

After our trip to the toy store, we met my wonderful friend Aleeza in Central Park. Aleeza was one of my best friends/soul mates/bosom buddies in high school. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding, and my wedding was the last time I saw her! She was so sweet. She had JUST gotten back from Spain, like she met us after she dropped her luggage off at her apartment. We had fun catching up, discussing how weirded out she is that I am going to be an actual mother of a real child, and we ended the day by eating some tasty New York Pizza together. It was great to see her, and hopefully it won't be another 4.5 years until we meet again.

Monday was our last day in NYC. No joke, we spent the day eating. We started by getting a donut that was about the size of a chihuahua, followed by New York Sausages from a street vender, and ended at Junior's (famous for their cheesecake). We were able to meet up with a friend of ours from Tulsa who now lives in Brooklyn for his medical residency. It was great to catch up. After that, we left for the airport, and sleepily ended up safe and sound back in OKC.

It was a wonderful trip, and were happy we were able to squeeze in one more fun vacation together before our baby decides to crash the party. Speaking of baby, being pregnant in New York is hard stuff, man. I gotta hand it to the many chic women I saw strutting in high heels and a baby belly as they speed walked down 5th Avenue. Meanwhile, I was huffing and puffing and desperately searching the nearest bathroom. When I wasn't doing that, I was complaining about how my feet hurt, and I was only 18 weeks along. This mom-to-be was meant to gestate in a suburb.

One more word of caution to those who choose to hit up New York while pregnant, the following things may make you cry:

1) The end of the song Defying Gravity when Elpheba starts to fly.
2) Seeing a man wearing a sign and trying to politely pass out flyers for whatever business he is "advertising", only to be completely ignored by everyone.
3) Everything in the 9/11 Memorial.
4) Finding out your subway stop is closed and completely inaccessible.

Yeah, this baby has turned me into an even bigger wuss than I once was. Thanks, kid.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Preggo Pet Peeves

I really try hard not to focus on the discomforts or negatives about being pregnant. For one, what good does it do? It's not something that I can change in the next 5 months. For another thing, I find it a little insensitive to go on and on about how much pregnancy may suck when there are so many women who are desperate to conceive. I remember when we were trying, or right after my miscarriage whenever I heard a girl complain about pregnancy symptoms, I wanted to scream, "I will gladly trade places with you!" So, for those reasons, I try to steer clear of complaining.

However, there are a few outside factors of pregnancy that bother me. These aren't things happening to my body, but things that I have to deal with (and every other pregnant woman) that get under my skin.

Prenatal "Exercises": I have been trying hard to keep up exercise throughout my pregnancy. I've been doing pretty well. I average working out about 4 times per week. The intensity of my exercising has definitely decreased, but I still want to feel like I am doing SOMETHING! For my first trimester, my doctor gave me the go ahead to go out as I used to prior to becoming pregnant, only to not let my heart rate sky rocket and to not do any hard core, repetitive jumping. Great! Once my second trimester came, I became more aware of my growing belly. I didn't want to bend too sharply or lay on my stomach. So I thought it would be a good time to transition to exercises specifically for a gestater, such as myself. Guys, these work outs are LAME! LAME LAME LAME! I did a prenatal yoga routine that had me sitting on my butt for the ENTIRE exercise! What?! And then I tried a cardio one. It seriously went like this: "Carefully march in place....CAREFUL....ok, now when you feel ready, start to raise your arms....ok, we are going to do this for about 5 minutes straight.BE CAREFUL! Ok, you're done!" I find these exercises incredibly condescending.  I tried one last one yesterday and decided to give up on them. From now on, I'm just gonna stick with my girl Jillian Michaels and modify when she wants me to jump.

Being Seen As Fragile:  I get it! Pregnancy is a big deal, and it is important for moms-to-be to take care of themselves. But for the love! People ask like if they blow on me I'll shatter into tiny pieces. I went to a bridal shower last week and I had MULTIPLE people comment on how I shouldn't be doing something because it was too heavy/too heavy. These tasks included: carrying a large bowl of potato salad, standing up and cooking, carrying a box full of table cloths, helping someone else take down a table (which was always touching the floor), and carrying empty serving bowls. I know no one means no harm when they tell me, "Oh, you shouldn't be carrying that/doing that!" but it gets a little old. I also know the people who say it care about me and my baby and many of them are people that I care about as well (Jordan is among the guilty). I guess part of me takes it the wrong way, as if someone is telling me, "I know better than you do about your body," or "You don't know how to take care of yourself or your baby." That's something that I have to deal with, I suppose. My fellow pregnant friend agreed with me when I was venting to her the other day, and she explained that when my third trimester comes, I won't mind the excuse not to carry things around, so I guess I should just wait til that day comes.

Monday, September 30, 2013


We are under contract to buy a house. Like, with a mortgage and equity and other grown up words that scare me! We are so excited to have a house together (we have both been apartment dwellers since starting school at BYU), and we feel this is a good decision for us. Still, it scares the crap out of me. Our realtor has been incredibly helpful and is holding our hand through the process and meeting with us for each step of the way.

But it's still scary.

I worry about dumb things, like "Oh, the fire place is gas only! Our kid will be confused how Santa gets down it!" or "What if our neighbors are mean?" or "What if Jordan gets hit by a car on his bike and I am left a widow/single mother with a friggin HOUSE in OKLAHOMA???"

Welcome to my mind, folks. It's not pleasant.

For the most part, we feel like this is a smart move for us. We really want to stay in the area we live in currently (which is super close to Jordan's work, has one of the best school districts in the state, and has a very low crime rate), and we know for sure we want to live in a house when the baby comes. I really don't want to have to carry a car seat back and forth between our apartment and the complex parking lot. Plus, we only have two bedrooms and our second bedroom is full of TONS of stuff. We looked at renting houses in our area and the rental price of a home is very close to the monthly payment our house will be. Plus, I reeeeeally want a dog, but refused to get one until I have a yard.

But it's still scary.

Our closing date is November 8, and we plan to move in sometime shortly after that.

We are quickly learning that adulthood is dang expensive, but it has its perks.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The First Trimester

My first trimester started off great. I found out I was pregnant very early on, at about 3 weeks. From weeks 3-5, I felt sleepy, but otherwise great. I could exercise without any problems and my appetite was normal. I was craving salty things (like drinking straight chicken broth and eating dill pickles), but I wasn't sick at all. I gave my stomach props and thought, Maybe I will be one of the lucky ones who don't get sick at all.

Then week 6 came.

It was like a someone flicked a switch. One day, I was happily munching on veggies and cup-o-noodles, the very next morning the sight of cup-o-noodles in my pantry looked like death. All food looked disgusting and I felt like total crap. I tried to convince myself that it was all in my head. I did the ultimate test- I bought and cooked an artichoke. I have NEVER met an artichoke that I didn't like....until this one. I chocked it down and kept trying to convince myself to like it. No such luck. That's when I knew that this was the real deal.

All I ate for weeks was graham crackers and milk. I would try to force feed myself healthy things, but usually would end up gagging. One day I remember I held up an apple and declared, "I'm gonna eat this!!" I only was able to get down about 4 bites and I surrendered. What was odd is I only threw up a handful of times, but when I did it was always after eating some type of fruit.

Though it sucked to hate the sight of food (going on pinterest and seeing meals was dreadful, and grocery shopping was overwhelming. Ew!), I tried to stay positive. I often reminded myself that I would rather feel miserable and be pregnant than feel great and not be pregnant. My friend gave me good advice too. She said, "Every day that I was sick, I felt like it was my baby telling me that it was still in there and alive." I held onto that as well.

Another weird thing that bothered me was textures. When we visited Jordan's parents in Tulsa for a weekend, my mother-in-law had just shampooed her carpets. Her carpets were nice and clean, but because they were slightly damp, they made feel sick. I vomited once just from the carpet, and then wore shoes the rest of the weekend.

When I was about 9 weeks along, we decided to share the news with Jordan's family. We gave Jordan's father a birthday present (it was at a party for him) that said: "Coupon good for one grandchild. Valid in March 2014." (Don't worry, we got him a real present, too.) The following week, we went to St. George for a family reunion with MY family, and when we were all in the same room, I came into the room wearing THIS shirt:

It was so fun to tell everyone! My nieces were excited. My 5 year old niece told me matter of factly, "When your baby is born, I hope it doesn't die." Me too, kid, me too.

Here are 2 tummy shots of the first trimester. I started to show toward the end....it's only going to get bigger, huh?

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Finding Out

I was planning on writing a more detailed account of our journey to pregnancy, but decided that at this time, I don't really feel like broadcasting it to the world. Instead, I'll give the short version: We had over a year of patience, prayers, discouragement, tears, worries, fasting, frustrating, and pills.

When it had been nearly a year since we began trying to conceive,  we made an appointment with an OB that was known for helping with fertility issues. Our insurance didn't cover any fertility specialists, and a few friends from church recommended this doctor for help with getting pregnant, so we decided to give him a try. We were able to see him in June. During our initial appointment, he explained that based on my history and increasingly irregular/absent periods, it appeared that my body was just not wanting to ovulate. He was able to do an ultrasound which showed that I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (something that my Tulsa doctor said I DIDN'T have). He explained that he was going to place us on his "Infertility Protocol", which was an extremely detailed monthly plan of various prescription drugs, over the counter drugs, which days of the cycle to take them, checking cervical mucus (my favorite. Yuck!), and having monthly ultrasounds of my ovaries. My doctor explained that with all the patients he places on this regimen, 60% of them get pregnant within six months. I know for infertility, these are generally good odds, but all I heard when he said that statistic was "you have a 40% chance of still not being pregnant in six months." He explained that after six months of trying this protocol unsuccessfully, we would move on to more evasive procedures.On a positive note, he explained that since I was not having periods, he just declared that appointment day one of my cycle, which meant I could start the regimen that week!

Though it was a little overwhelming to begin a medication for "infertility", I tried to think positive. I felt proactive and hopeful. That day, we went straight to the pharmacy, got our collection of pills, and began that night. On day 9 of the regimen, it seemed as though I had ovulated. I found this confusing, since according to the protocol paperwork, I wasn't supposed to ovulated until day 13-16. On day 12, I went in for my ultrasound to check on my ovaries. My doctor said that everything looked normal (though there were several string of pearl cysts) and on the ultrasound there appeared to be en egg ready to go. He predicted that I would ovulate within the next 48 hours. I told him that I had some ovulation symptoms a few days prior, and he explained that it is possible to ovulate twice with the medications that I was on, or it was possible that I hadn't ovulated when I thought I had.

Over the next two days, each ovulation test I took was negative. Then the next day. Then the next. I was getting a little discouraged because I thought this meant that my body was still not ovulating. Then I took a new test the following morning, and it was positive. I had no other ovulation symptoms other than the test. The next day I took an ovulation test and it was positive. "Ok, this is normal, " I thought. But then the next two days, both of my daily ovulation tests were positive. It's pretty much impossible to ovulate for 4 days. I was a little confused about what the heck was going on.

The following morning was July 2nd. I woke up at 4:00 am having to pee. I am supposed to take my ovulation tests during my first bathroom break of the morning, so I did my thaaang and got yet ANOTHER positive ovulation test. WHAT THE CRAP?! That's when I had a light bulb go off. I thought that maybe all these positive ovulation tests had something to do pregnancy. I got out a pregnancy test and took it. We always use the ClearBlue digital test because it is very accurate and easy to read. I HATE that test though because after you wet the test, it has this obnoxious blinking digital sand timer that blinks and blinks and blinks and then the words "NOT PREGNANT" pop up. This time, after I wet the test I set it aside to avoid the blinking anxiety. After a few minutes, I dared to look at the test and this is what I saw:
I was so surprised! I immediately took out the second test and this time I sat and watched the dang blinking sand timer. Sure, enough, it read "pregnant" as well. So there I was, 4:00 in the morning, alone in our bathroom, so giddy that I was about to scream. I had idea what to do. Should I wake up Jordan? Should I wait until he gets up at 7:00? Should I surprise him with a fancy dinner when he gets home from work? I decided that there was NO way that I could wait any longer. I ran back into our room and start kissing Jordan all over his cheeks (something he doesn't mind when he's awake but HATES when he is asleep, and being the good wifey that I am I made sure to do it). He grumbled, "Hmph! What...What is it?" I whispered in his ear, "I'm pregnant". His voice suddenly became less groggy. "Wait, What?! What? Really?!" I showed him my two new positive pregnancy trophies. He was super excited, and after a few minutes said, "I'm so happy....is it ok if I go back to sleep?"

I left him alone to rest but there was NO way I was going back to sleep. I was WAY too pumped on adrenaline. Not only was I happy about my pregnancy, I was soooo thrilled that the treatment I was on worked for the first cycle. If it was possible, I would've have given my baby making parts fist bumps. "Way to go ladies! Nice team work!" July 2nd, 2013 was a wonderful, wonderful day.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Life is about to get more interesting....

We are having a baby! I am due in March, and we are thrilled....and a little scared.

Sunday, July 21, 2013


I haven't blogged for a while, and mainly it is because I want to blog about our fantastic amazing, wonderful, and stomach-filling trip to Europe, but that has taken me much longer to write than I was anticipating. I still want to write about it so I can remember details, but now for I'll just update life since our trip.

First things first: I got a job. (Notice I didn't type "I got a job!!!!") I'm simply not a fan of work. But this job seems like it could potentially be a good fit for me. It's contract work, which means that I get to set my own hours and workload. I'm free from juggling  my vacation days. I love being able to schedule a doctor appointment and not having to make sure I get permission from a supervisor ahead of time. However, I am learning that contract work is not all peaches and cream. Because they don't have to pay me until I actually see a client, there is not rush to me to that point. I feel like I have to be one that proactive in getting my paperwork completed and my billing applications completed. This is very different from my job in Tulsa. In Tulsa, I was a salaried employee, so any time during my job where I wasn't seeing a client or doing something billable and money wasted on me. They took care of business fast.

Second things second: Jordan loves his job!!!! (I feel exclamation points seemed fitting this time.) He loves his supervising doctor, he loves to tell me about cases he has (without identifying the patients in any way. Don't kill me, HIPAA). I'm happy to see him enjoying his work.

Third things third: Jordan's brother is engaged! It's exciting for the family. Jordan is the youngest and I know his mother is has been so anxious for his siblings to find good people to love and marry. We like his fiance a lot. I've only met her about three or four times because they started dating right before we moved, but I can tell she's great. I'm excited to have a new sister-in-law, and I am happy to pass the torch of "being the new family member" onto her. Their wedding is November 1st of this year.

Fourth things fourth: Jordan and I survived our fist camping trip together. We went with our good friends from Tulsa and had an awesome time (despite find over four tarantulas on our camp site).

And lastly, I am SO EXCITED for my immediate family's reunion next month. I miss my family so much. I've been in Oklahoma for over four years and the homesickness has yet to subside.

How House Hunting is Exactly Like Dating

In April, Jordan and I had some friends stay with us for a few days. They were moving to OKC to stat a residency and wanted to find a place to live before their move. When Jordan told me about their plan to stay with us to look for a home, I said, "Hey, they should move into OUR apartment complex! That would be fun." Jordan replied, "Yeah, I told them that, but they said that they wanted to buy a house."

That was the first time when I seriously thought about buying a house. When our friends came and excitedly told us about the houses they were looking at, they exclaimed, "The houses around here are great! Our monthly payment will be LESS than what we pay on rent now!"

I put house hunting on the back burner of my brain for a while. Our Europe trip in May came and went (which I am STILL working on blogging about). In June, I started to really think about buying a home. We were going to be in OKC for a few more years, at least. We were hoping to have at least one kid in the next few years, and I have desperately wanted a dog since we were newly weds. We talked to the mortgage guy (or at least that is what I call him, I know he is not technically a broker), and ran some numbers and other adultish things. Our friends gave us the name of a realtor they used and loved, and we contacted her. We applied for a loan and got approved. My realtor started emailing pictures of houses. As Liz Lemon would say, "Things [were] happening!"

Jordan and I went out to a few houses in the area of town we want to live in with our realtor. She showed us about ten houses. Each house, there were things that I didn't love. Jordan is fairly easy to please. The very first house we looked at, he declared that he loved it and be happy to make an offer. I, on the hand, was thinking, "Huh...we'd have to paint this and that, that laundry room is small, the den doors are so dated, we would have to do SOMETHING to the front yard, etc." Jordan suggested that I was being too picky, and I responded, "I just want to find the best house for us!"

Then we found a lovely house. It was right in the neighborhood we liked. Jordan could still walk to work. The community was gated. The inside of the house was lovely. Once again, Jordan loved it, and once again, I liked it a lot and made a mental check list of all of its flaws.

A few days later, we discussed the houses we had seen and decided that the lovely house would be the one. We scheduled one more visit to it with our realtor, and after critically walking through it, I agreed that the house was wonderful and perfect for us. We made our offer (which was a bit lower than the asking price). The next day, our realtor called us and said that the owners had received a second offer on the house, but they wanted to the house to go to a nice young couple, so they were wondering if we could change our offer. We asked the owners to give us a counter offer. They gave us one, which was still  a little more than we wanted to pay. We did our research of other houses in the neighborhood, as well as what their taxes were in 2012, yadda yadda yadda, and felt that the house was worth quite of much as they were asking. So we counter offered. For the next few days, our realtor called us and said that the owners really wanted to have the house be bought by a nice young family for their neighbors sake, and felt that we could be the ones, but they weren't sure about our offer. We gave another offer that was a little higher, and waited. We offered to have our contract extended to give them time to move. All the while, my realtor kept saying, " They really like you guys."

I spent that week day dreaming about paint, parties, and where I would put my furniture. I started to get so excited about "our house" and how wonderful it would  be. Then, on Monday evening. our realtor called us and said, "Well, the other couple offered to pay cash and all of the closing costs for the house, so the owners are going with them." My heart sank. She excitedly told me, "But we will find you the PERFECT house! It happens all the time. I had a guy who lost four houses he put offers on and how he in the perfect house!" I thanked her for her help, went to my bedroom, and cried. And cried. And cried.

Why didn't we just accept their first counter offer? Why did I have to be so worried about the money? Why didn't we make an offer earlier? Why did I have to be so weird about the house at first? These were all thoughts that ran though my head for several days. My realtor began emailing me more houses to look at, and all I thought as I looked through their pictures was I hate ALL of these! I just want MY house!

I told Jordan that I just needed to focus on all the stuff that I hated about the house initially, and then I could feel better. It had a weird master bedroom layout. The front yard was too big and would take forever to mow. The den's floor was kinda weird. But the more I thought about the flaws, the less impact they had on me. I just missed our house.

Our realtor texted me a few days later asking if any of the houses she sent looked appealing and asked if I wanted to see any houses. I told her that I was still mourning our lost house, and I just needed to take a break for looking for a little bit. She texted how she just knew our perfect house was our there somewhere.

Let me tell, ya. House hunting is exactly like dating. For me, at least. Back in my single days, I was pretty picky with boys I would go out with. He doesn't seem to care about his future career. He is bald. He's got this annoying habit where he says, "That's groovy". He's too sarcastic. He is too serious. The critiques went on and on. Many were justifiable. Some were more shallow.  For me, once I started dating a boy for a while, I was usually pretty reserved as far as making any commitment goes. The idea of being exclusive scared me. Usually once I became exclusive with a boy, I started to panic and their flaws would magnify. And then, in way or another, almost every relationship (which weren't very many) would end with me crying for days. I would worry about what I did to change their mind. The "if only's" and the "why didn't I's" would flood through my brain. And all my ex-boyfriends' annoying flaws seemed to disappear from my memory. When I would go out with a guy shortly after a break up, I would just think, I don't like this guy. I miss so-and-so. HE'S who I belong with. I've ruined everything.

But obviously, I found the best guy for me. He is not perfect, and you better believe that while we dating I was overly concerned about his imperfections (poor guy. I've apologized several times for this), but he is my home. I think back to my former boyfriends and can't picture being with them. Actually, with most of them I have a sigh of relief over not being with them anymore. I'm home with Jordan.

So house hunting has made me appreciate NOT being in the dating scene anymore.I don't miss the worry and critiques that fill up my mind. I miss the regret and the rejection. I don't miss the grief.  And I do hope to find a good house for us, though we are taking a little break from looking before we put ourselves "back  on the market". In the meantime, I'll just hang out with our apartment, who is always around and will never go away, but I will happily leave when something better comes along. Poor friend-zoned apartment.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Two weeks

In two weeks from today, we will be landing in Frankfurt, Germany.

In three weeks from today, we will be at the Louvre in Paris.

In four weeks from today, we will strolling the ancient streets of Rome.

In five weeks, I will be back in Oklahoma City, most  likely dreaming of Europe in the day and staying up all night due to jet lag.

We. Can't. Wait.

Monday, April 1, 2013

30 Before 30

Today I turn 27. Wow. I know that’s not really all that old, but it’s weird to turn 27 when I feel like I am still 18. I think that is fairly common.

Twenty-six was a good age, overall. I told Jordan I graded it as a B+. There was a lot of crappy things that happened when I was 26 (grandpa passing away, Boise Thanksgiving ending, Obama winning, getting sick, racking up fun hospital bills), but there were also some pretty great times as well (seeing my family pretty regularly, quitting my job, earning my LCSW, traveling to Seattle, Vermont, Utah, and Tucson). All in all, it’s been a nice year.

With my twenties tapering off, I decided to set some goals. I am creating a “30 before 30” list, which is a list of 30 goals that I want to achieve before I am the big 3-0. I shamelessly stole this idea from other bloggers,

but I don’t feel bad about it because I am sure they stole it from someone else. And you know what they say- “two wrongs make a right”….or something like that.

I am also cheating a bit. I can’t really think of 30 goals to do before I am 30 starting NOW! That would 30 goals to complete in 36 months, and a lot of these goals will take more time than that. So instead, I am making a list of 30 goals I HAVE WANTED to meet by the time I am 30, meaning some of these goals were already goals of mine that I have met. Don’t like it? That’s ok, just like the ol’ saying goes- “go ahead and cry over spilled milk”…or something.

Some of these goals seem dumb, but they are all important to me. So heeeeere we go!

30 Before 30 List
Due Date: April 1 2016

  1.  Obtain my MSW (done and done)
  2.  Become an LCSW (check!)
  3.   Become a home owner
  4.    Become a dog owner (if this one doesn’t happen by the time I’m 30, I will be a very sad 30 year old indeed)
  5.       Become a mother 
  6.        Go to Europe (Tickets are purchased!)
  7.        Take Jordan to Hawaii
  8.       Read the Harry Potter books (I’m sure NONE of my family members think this one will happen) 
  9.       Sew a dress
  10.    Become a certified home study adoption worker
  11.    Complete at least one home study for a family
  12.    Go scuba diving
  13.    See the show Wicked
  14.    Write a book (not a novel- just a children’s book. I highly doubt I’ll ever get published, but I think it would be fun to complete a book for the sake of doing it) 
  15.   Go skiing with Jordan (we’ve NEVER been together)
  16.    Run a half marathon
  17.   Pay for a stranger’s groceries anonymously
  18.    Pay for a stranger’s meal anonymously
  19.    Take a voice lesson
  20.   Take a piano lesson
  21.    Take a dance lesson
  22.   Sing a solo (Done. I did this for the first time since primary two Easters ago. It was terrifying. Perhaps I could do it again.)
  23.    Participate in a flash mob
  24.    Get a pedicure (I’ve never had one before. I’m embarrassed by my feet.) 
  25.  Read Jesus The Christ
  26.    Throw a party. Not just a get together, but a real party.
  27.    Eat at the Crab Pot in Seattle (Done, and delicious)
  28.    Finish a scrap book about Jordan and my courtship
  29.    Give a lecture (whether as a guest speaker, teacher, etc)
  30.    Learn how to moon walk.
I will be periodically (most likely annually) updating this list to show which goals I’ve met and my status for the others. Here’s to a great year of being 27, as well as three fantastic final years in my 20’s!