Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Review of Life at 4 Months

Hey guys, Baby Jo here. I think it is clear that my mom isn't doing so great at blogging. She makes the excuse that she doesn't have time, but c'mon! After feeding me, changing me, putting me down for naps, bathing me, and holding me constantly I'm sure she has plenty of time. Anyway, I thought I would do her a solid and blog for her.

As of last Saturday (the 19th), I have been around here for four months! FOUR MONTHS! My parents keep going on and on about how they "can't believe it's gone by so quickly" and how I'm "growing up way too fast" and how pretty soon I will be graduating high school. They are a little dramatic. Sheesh. Since I've been on the planet for four months now, I thought I would share my opinion on life through various categories. Here is my review on life as a four month old.

Mom/Cafeteria: I know it's lame for a kid to say they like their mother, but mine is really really growing on me. I'm starting to prefer her to strangers, which is new. Plus, she is kind of hilarious. She does this thing where she pretends to eat my feet- HAHAHA!....Ok, maybe it's one of those things that you have to be there for, but trust me, it's funny. I crack up every time.
 My favorite thing to do with my mom is a game called "Fly and Drool". My mom lies on her back and lifts me horizontally over her head while calling out, "You can fly!" Next, I give her a big open mouth smile and proceed to let a long line of drool fall on her. She doesn't seem to like that part as much as I do.
My mom's favorite thing to do with me is rock me in a rocking chair and sing. Sometimes I really like doing this with her, but sometimes it is borderline torture. Hey, I'm a baby. I'm allowed to be as fickle as I like.

Dad/That Guy With the Fun Facial Hair: I like him, too. Sometimes he isn't sure about my feelings toward him, though. It's simply a scheduling problem. See, 4:30 pm is Dad's time to come home from work, and 4:35 pm is my time to be extremely fussy for no reason at all. Don't take it personal, Dad.
Dad is a funny guy, too. I easily laugh at him, especially when he blows on my belly and I grab onto his attempt at a beard.

Milk/My Drug: Initially, I was a little apathetic toward nursing. I was all, "Whatever. This stuff tastes ok, I guess. I'd rather just sleep some more." But once I turned about one month old, I was HOOKED. I wanted to nurse every two hours, and often more frequently than that. My addiction went one until about two weeks ago. I'm slowly regaining self control. I can go anywhere from two and a half to three hours in between my fixes now. My drug dealer doesn't seem to mind.

Sleep: I'm not sure how I feel about sleep. Some nights I think it is a great idea, and other nights I think, "Maybe thrashing around in my swaddle and grunting all night would be more satisfying." Mom thinks I'm wrong, but what does she know? She never sleeps. I do not really like naps, though. I ALWAYS try to convince Mom that I don't need one when she puts me down for a nap...then somehow I wake up an hour later. I think that woman is a witch. I currently take four naps a day. They average anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour. My parents still put me in my swaddle straight jacket at night.

Church: I don't know what it is, but there is something about that place that makes me want to do two things: Cry forever and blow out of my diaper. Yet Mom STILL hasn't learned. She insists on dressing me like a dork almost every Sunday.

Music: Probably one of my favorite things about Earth is the music. I love to be sang to, I love to have music playing in the background, and I love to sing myself. I only know one song. It goes like this: "Oh, OWWW, Ow, Ow, Ooooh." My parents say it's beautiful and surely THEY aren't biased or anything. My favorite song of all time is Hallelujah covered by the Canadian Tenors. When I hear that song, I can't help but stop crying and listen. It's hypnotic. Coincidentally, it must be my parents' favorite song as well, because they play it on repeat in the car with me, during my nap times, and whenever I am extra angry....hey, wait a minute.... those punks.
My other favorite songs are my lullabies. My mom sings Mockingbird Hill, The Stars Are Out, Santa Fe, and You Belong to Me. Dad sings a bunch of German songs that are soothing, but I don't know their names.

The Mirror/My Best Friend: Have you guys met the baby in the mirror? He's only the coolest guy EVER. I'm always happy to see and stare at him. Car rides used to be painful torture, but my mom let the mirror baby ride along with me in the backseat, and now we just have pleasant conversations together.

Swimming: First I was like....

But I like it now.

Hobbies: My hobbies include trying to cram as many fingers in my mouth as possible (four is my record), playing in my jungle gym, and rolling from my back to my belly. It took me forever to learn but I'm a pro now. The only problem is once I roll to my tummy...I have no clue what to do after that. I just end up crying.

My Name: My opinion on my name? Uh....I have no idea. Guys, it's embarrassing, but I have NO idea what my real name is. My parents call me a million different things everyday. If I had to guess, it's either Nugget or Munchkin. Mom also calls me Puppy, Chubs, Joney, JoJo, and Sweet Pea. Dad calls me Hotdog, Chunky Butt, and Son. Your guess is as good as mine as to my correct identity.

Relatives: I have met five out of my seven cousins so far. They are pretty cool! I also love my aunts, uncles, and grandparents. My mom always says, "You are one loved baby!" I think she is right. Lots of people to manipulate! I just have to meet two other cousins and two more uncles and I will have met everyone!

So to summarize, I will say that my overall review of life is pretty great! I plan stick around for a long time!