Bye, 25

Another year of life almost completed. I'll be 26 tomorrow. Even though I have moaned and groaned about getting older, I'm feeling a little more "at peace" with this year. Yes, I know that I am still very young...it's just sad to know I can never be this age again. As I've mentioned before, finality never really sits well with me.

But, all in all, the twenty-five year old version of myself had a good run. Here she is in review:

Me, version 25
In April, I sang my first solo in church since primary. It was terrifying and required several days of prayer and a blessing from Jordan, but I got through it and I was pretty proud of myself for not crying during it.

In May, Jordan and I celebrated our two year anniversary on a Caribbean cruise, and it was maaaahvalous.


In June, my sister and my niece came to Oklahoma and visited, which was way too much fun! I also got to go to Utah and see one of my good friends, Melissa get married in the Draper temple!


While I was there, I also got to spend an afternoon with my OTHER very amazing friend, Melissa. She and I hadn't seen each other in over 2 years and were so excited to hang out. Naturally, we had a blast. I'm so grateful I got to see her one last time. She passed away this past Winter (I've wanted to blog about her for a while now, but I've been avoiding it. Makes me too sad right now.) I'm also sad that the last picture we took together was so blurry :(

In August, Jordan and I got to go to Tucson and play with my brother and his family.


In September, I got to go to Seattle and see my amazing cousin Jaime get married in the Seattle Temple. She and I are only 2 months apart and lived only about 30 minutes away from each other throughout our childhood. I was so excited to be there for the big day!


In October, my parents came for a week to play with us in Oklahoma. I also got to go to the ER for the first time since I was super young AND  ride in my first (and hopefully last) ambulance ride.

In December, we got to go back to Seattle and spend an entire week with the fam!



In January I got to experience the joys of a kidney surgery, a stent, kidney stones, and enemas (yes, plural). Didn't really love that time.

In February, things chippered up as my entire family (minus one poor Brad) got to go to Southern California for a week. It was magical and exhausting; just the way a vacation should be. I may blog about it someday.

So, yes. Twenty-five year me did pretty well. I also had about 350 boring and highly uneventful days during 25, but we can forget about them. I'm hoping 26 brings more traveling, less surgeries, and a puppy. Stay tuned...

Still not a grown up.

Even though I am about to 26 in a week, I was reminded last night that I have no need to fear about aging yet. If anything, I should call my doctor to rule out Benjamin Button syndrome.

Last night, I attended a fireside at my church. It was a special fireside for Young Women, their mothers, and Young Women leaders. It was a the General Young Women Broadcast, and there were two wards meeting for it- my ward (the New Haven ward) and the other ward that goes to our building (Riverside ward).

Since I am not a young woman or a mother, I sat down by myself on a side pew. While the building coordinator was setting up our projector, A mother from the other ward smiled at me and said, "Hi, you must be from New Haven. Are you new?" I responded, "No, not really. I've been in the ward for about 3 years." She looked confused and asked, "Really?! What's your last name?" I told her my name. She continued to look perplexed and then asked, "Are you a leader, or a young woman?" BAH! I explained I was a leader. "OH!" she replied, "I thought you were a new youth....how OLD are you?" I wanted to respond, "None of your dang business, lady. You wouldn't ask someone your age that question, would you?" but instead I smiled and said, "I'm almost twenty-six." She looked even more surprised and said, "Wow, I thought you were maybe 19 if you were a leader!" Ugh.

Last forward about 5 minutes later. The broadcast was just starting when a friendly looking teenaged girl from the other ward came up and sat next to me. She smiled and asked, "Hi, what's your name?" I started to think that maaaaaybe she's just friendly? I told her my name. She introduced herself and then nervously asked if I wanted to sit next to her and her friends. Yes, she thought I was a lonesome teen. I didn't want her to feel stupid for asking me because IF I was a teenager all by myself at a fireside I would have appreciated her invitation, so I accepted her offer. I smiled and told her I was a leader but I would be happy to sit next to them. She lead me to her pew with her friends and her mom. Her mom smiled and asked, "Hi! Are you new?" I politely explained that no I was NOT a new youth, but a leader. The mom's jaw dropped. "OH! My goodness you, look so young! We thought you were a new young women!" Oh, brother. I made sure to let them know that it was great for them to invite a stranger to their pew, but yes it was a little awkward.

So, Universe, I give up. What do I need to do to look older than seventeen?

Letters to myself

Dear 4 year old me,
You have NO IDEA how amazing your life is right now. No work, no school, no responsibilities. Cherish it.

Dear 5 year old me,
Yes, Mrs. Gruber is the scariest kindergarten teacher in the world, but you'll never get in serious trouble, so stop worrying about it everyday.

Dear 6 year old me,
You know how Molly is currently obsessed with living in Oklahoma when she grows up and talks about it all the time? That will be kinda funny. Stay tuned.

Dear 8 year old me,
Don't get that haircut. It's a mistake.

Dear 12 year old me,
You know how the orthodontist said you'll wear your new braces for 18 months? Don't believe him. Those puppies aren't going anywhere....

Dear 16 year old me,
Hang in there, the braces will be off soon! Also, don't you think it's time you get your license? Stop being such a chicken.

Dear 18 year old me,
Yes, it does royally suck that UW did not accept you into college. Don't worry. You'll escape BCC and move on with your life. Stop thinking you are such a loser. It's exhausting.
Also...are you SURE you want to apply to Kindercare? Cause there ARE other places....


Dear 20 year old me,
Congrats into getting into BYU! You'll like it a lot...and when you get that C in American Heritage, it won't be the end of the world. Your GPA will be resurrected and you will even get into grad school some day.

Dear 21 year old me,
OK, seriously? You really need to stop dating such weirdos. And when that nice Jordan boy asks you out, just GO.

Dear 22 year old me,
Look- you like him, he likes you. Stop worrying about it.

Dear 23 year old me,
See what I meant about how nice that Jordan boy is? Marriage won't be as terrifying as it is right now. Don't worry, you'll actually enjoy Tulsa in a few months.

Dear 24 year old me,
There, see? Marriage is AWESOME! And no, you can't quit your job and spend everyday at the pool. It's time to be a grown up....sigh. By the way, your job WILL get easier and you will like it much more later.

Dear 25 year old me,
Ah, look. Your job is ok after all. Heads up- you are about to meet your worst enemy...in the shape of tiny kidney stone. Also, stop freaking out about "being old". Strangers will still think you are 17.

Dear 26 year old me,
Am I normal yet? Let me know!

This sums it up for me

I found this picture on Pinterest and I couldn't help but laugh. This is TOTALLY me.

Don't get me wrong, I DO care about human suffering and my heart does go out to people who experience pain or trauma (otherwise I made a very poor career choice). I also acknowledge and believe that human problems are more important than animal problem, but there is something about an animal in pain, fear, or otherwise poor living arrangement that just KILLS ME!

For example, here is a list of my hypothetical reactions to bad things happening to people vs animals.

Watching a movie where a person dies: "Oh, how sad."
Watching a movie where an animal dies: "I HATE this movie. Waaa Waaa! Who thinks this is good entertainment?! Why are we watching this in the first place?? I'm covering my eyes."

Hearing about a parent who abuses their children: "What jerks!! How dare they? Who do they think they are? Those poor children don't deserve that. Let's send them to jail."
Hearing about a pet owner who abuses their pet: "BURN THEM! BURN THEM ALIIIIIIIVE!"

Seeing a homeless man on the street: "Look, there is a homeless person."
Seeing a homeless person with a dog on the street": "HOW SAD!!! Poor dog. I must give them all my money. Maybe I can run and grab dog food really fast. WAAAA!"

Seeing a one legged person: "hmm, I better make sure I'm not staring. Act natural like you don't even realize it."
See a three legged creature: "Awwwwww. I'm so proud of you, you little soldier! You're an inspiration to us all!"

Hearing about a child who gets no attention: "The poor kid! Every child needs positive reinforcement and affection in their lives. The parents should change this behavior as soon as possible, or we need to help the child get positive attention else where."
Hearing (or seeing) a pet who gets no attention and is not ever allowed in the house with its family: "MONSTERS! Let's demolish their house so they have to be outside with their pet forever! Buahahaha."

So yeah. That picture is me.