Bye, 25

Another year of life almost completed. I'll be 26 tomorrow. Even though I have moaned and groaned about getting older, I'm feeling a little more "at peace" with this year. Yes, I know that I am still very young...it's just sad to know I can never be this age again. As I've mentioned before, finality never really sits well with me.

But, all in all, the twenty-five year old version of myself had a good run. Here she is in review:

Me, version 25
In April, I sang my first solo in church since primary. It was terrifying and required several days of prayer and a blessing from Jordan, but I got through it and I was pretty proud of myself for not crying during it.

In May, Jordan and I celebrated our two year anniversary on a Caribbean cruise, and it was maaaahvalous.


In June, my sister and my niece came to Oklahoma and visited, which was way too much fun! I also got to go to Utah and see one of my good friends, Melissa get married in the Draper temple!


While I was there, I also got to spend an afternoon with my OTHER very amazing friend, Melissa. She and I hadn't seen each other in over 2 years and were so excited to hang out. Naturally, we had a blast. I'm so grateful I got to see her one last time. She passed away this past Winter (I've wanted to blog about her for a while now, but I've been avoiding it. Makes me too sad right now.) I'm also sad that the last picture we took together was so blurry :(

In August, Jordan and I got to go to Tucson and play with my brother and his family.


In September, I got to go to Seattle and see my amazing cousin Jaime get married in the Seattle Temple. She and I are only 2 months apart and lived only about 30 minutes away from each other throughout our childhood. I was so excited to be there for the big day!


In October, my parents came for a week to play with us in Oklahoma. I also got to go to the ER for the first time since I was super young AND  ride in my first (and hopefully last) ambulance ride.

In December, we got to go back to Seattle and spend an entire week with the fam!



In January I got to experience the joys of a kidney surgery, a stent, kidney stones, and enemas (yes, plural). Didn't really love that time.

In February, things chippered up as my entire family (minus one poor Brad) got to go to Southern California for a week. It was magical and exhausting; just the way a vacation should be. I may blog about it someday.

So, yes. Twenty-five year me did pretty well. I also had about 350 boring and highly uneventful days during 25, but we can forget about them. I'm hoping 26 brings more traveling, less surgeries, and a puppy. Stay tuned...

Still not a grown up.

Even though I am about to 26 in a week, I was reminded last night that I have no need to fear about aging yet. If anything, I should call my doctor to rule out Benjamin Button syndrome.

Last night, I attended a fireside at my church. It was a special fireside for Young Women, their mothers, and Young Women leaders. It was a the General Young Women Broadcast, and there were two wards meeting for it- my ward (the New Haven ward) and the other ward that goes to our building (Riverside ward).

Since I am not a young woman or a mother, I sat down by myself on a side pew. While the building coordinator was setting up our projector, A mother from the other ward smiled at me and said, "Hi, you must be from New Haven. Are you new?" I responded, "No, not really. I've been in the ward for about 3 years." She looked confused and asked, "Really?! What's your last name?" I told her my name. She continued to look perplexed and then asked, "Are you a leader, or a young woman?" BAH! I explained I was a leader. "OH!" she replied, "I thought you were a new youth....how OLD are you?" I wanted to respond, "None of your dang business, lady. You wouldn't ask someone your age that question, would you?" but instead I smiled and said, "I'm almost twenty-six." She looked even more surprised and said, "Wow, I thought you were maybe 19 if you were a leader!" Ugh.

Last forward about 5 minutes later. The broadcast was just starting when a friendly looking teenaged girl from the other ward came up and sat next to me. She smiled and asked, "Hi, what's your name?" I started to think that maaaaaybe she's just friendly? I told her my name. She introduced herself and then nervously asked if I wanted to sit next to her and her friends. Yes, she thought I was a lonesome teen. I didn't want her to feel stupid for asking me because IF I was a teenager all by myself at a fireside I would have appreciated her invitation, so I accepted her offer. I smiled and told her I was a leader but I would be happy to sit next to them. She lead me to her pew with her friends and her mom. Her mom smiled and asked, "Hi! Are you new?" I politely explained that no I was NOT a new youth, but a leader. The mom's jaw dropped. "OH! My goodness you, look so young! We thought you were a new young women!" Oh, brother. I made sure to let them know that it was great for them to invite a stranger to their pew, but yes it was a little awkward.

So, Universe, I give up. What do I need to do to look older than seventeen?

Letters to myself

Dear 4 year old me,
You have NO IDEA how amazing your life is right now. No work, no school, no responsibilities. Cherish it.

Dear 5 year old me,
Yes, Mrs. Gruber is the scariest kindergarten teacher in the world, but you'll never get in serious trouble, so stop worrying about it everyday.

Dear 6 year old me,
You know how Molly is currently obsessed with living in Oklahoma when she grows up and talks about it all the time? That will be kinda funny. Stay tuned.

Dear 8 year old me,
Don't get that haircut. It's a mistake.

Dear 12 year old me,
You know how the orthodontist said you'll wear your new braces for 18 months? Don't believe him. Those puppies aren't going anywhere....

Dear 16 year old me,
Hang in there, the braces will be off soon! Also, don't you think it's time you get your license? Stop being such a chicken.

Dear 18 year old me,
Yes, it does royally suck that UW did not accept you into college. Don't worry. You'll escape BCC and move on with your life. Stop thinking you are such a loser. It's exhausting.
Also...are you SURE you want to apply to Kindercare? Cause there ARE other places....


Dear 20 year old me,
Congrats into getting into BYU! You'll like it a lot...and when you get that C in American Heritage, it won't be the end of the world. Your GPA will be resurrected and you will even get into grad school some day.

Dear 21 year old me,
OK, seriously? You really need to stop dating such weirdos. And when that nice Jordan boy asks you out, just GO.

Dear 22 year old me,
Look- you like him, he likes you. Stop worrying about it.

Dear 23 year old me,
See what I meant about how nice that Jordan boy is? Marriage won't be as terrifying as it is right now. Don't worry, you'll actually enjoy Tulsa in a few months.

Dear 24 year old me,
There, see? Marriage is AWESOME! And no, you can't quit your job and spend everyday at the pool. It's time to be a grown up....sigh. By the way, your job WILL get easier and you will like it much more later.

Dear 25 year old me,
Ah, look. Your job is ok after all. Heads up- you are about to meet your worst enemy...in the shape of tiny kidney stone. Also, stop freaking out about "being old". Strangers will still think you are 17.

Dear 26 year old me,
Am I normal yet? Let me know!

This sums it up for me

I found this picture on Pinterest and I couldn't help but laugh. This is TOTALLY me.

Don't get me wrong, I DO care about human suffering and my heart does go out to people who experience pain or trauma (otherwise I made a very poor career choice). I also acknowledge and believe that human problems are more important than animal problem, but there is something about an animal in pain, fear, or otherwise poor living arrangement that just KILLS ME!

For example, here is a list of my hypothetical reactions to bad things happening to people vs animals.

Watching a movie where a person dies: "Oh, how sad."
Watching a movie where an animal dies: "I HATE this movie. Waaa Waaa! Who thinks this is good entertainment?! Why are we watching this in the first place?? I'm covering my eyes."

Hearing about a parent who abuses their children: "What jerks!! How dare they? Who do they think they are? Those poor children don't deserve that. Let's send them to jail."
Hearing about a pet owner who abuses their pet: "BURN THEM! BURN THEM ALIIIIIIIVE!"

Seeing a homeless man on the street: "Look, there is a homeless person."
Seeing a homeless person with a dog on the street": "HOW SAD!!! Poor dog. I must give them all my money. Maybe I can run and grab dog food really fast. WAAAA!"

Seeing a one legged person: "hmm, I better make sure I'm not staring. Act natural like you don't even realize it."
See a three legged creature: "Awwwwww. I'm so proud of you, you little soldier! You're an inspiration to us all!"

Hearing about a child who gets no attention: "The poor kid! Every child needs positive reinforcement and affection in their lives. The parents should change this behavior as soon as possible, or we need to help the child get positive attention else where."
Hearing (or seeing) a pet who gets no attention and is not ever allowed in the house with its family: "MONSTERS! Let's demolish their house so they have to be outside with their pet forever! Buahahaha."

So yeah. That picture is me.

We're like the Wonder Pets...only not as lame

This evening, when I was driving home I noticed a bird sitting in the middle of the street. One hundred percent of the time, a bird like away as my car approaches it, but this little pigeon was not going anywhere. As I came closer, I noticed it was rapidly flapping one wing and trying to hop. It was SO SAD! I didn't know what to do, so I just stopped my car and put on my emergency blinkers. I stumbled across the passenger seat and ran up to the poor bird, picked it up (ewww), and then set it on the sidewalk. I hopped back in my car (which was in front of about 30 backed up cars. Why didn't anyone go around me?) and started to drive off....but then I started to think, Ok, the bird won't get ran over, but it can't move. It can't eat and it can barely hop. The bird will either get eaten by something, eventually fall back on the road and get ran over, or starve to death. None of those seemed like good options, so I moved into action.

Unfortunately, bird saving is not a hobby of mine so I had no idea who to call or what to do. On top of that, my phone was already blinking red and continually reminding me that I am about to lose battery power. I knew that if there was a rabid wolf in my house, it would be appropriate to call 911, but what about a pigeon? I didn't have any other options and my phone was blinking, so I made the following calls:


To 911
Police: "911, is this medical or emergency?"
Me: "I'm so sorry! This is not an emergency! Sorry! I just don't know who to call. There is a hurt pigeon. I'm so sorry!" (And yes, I did feel like a moron).
Police: "Call 411, they can help."

To 411 (my phone definitely about to die)
411 person: "411, How may I assist you?"
Me: "HeyIfoundahurtpigeonandIsaveditfromdyingtbutIdon'tknowwheretotakeitorwhattodo!"
411: "Uh...I guess an animal hospital? I'll transfer you to one."

To Animal Hospital
Vet person: "Hi, Such-and-Such Vet hospital"
Me (even faster this time): "Hey411saidIshouldcallyou.IfoundahurtpigeonandIsaveditfromdyingbutIdon'tknowwheretotakeitorwhattodo!"
Vet: "Well, we don't care for wildlife animals, but there is a wildlife hospital in Tulsa. Here's the number."

To Wildlife Place
Person who answered the phone: "Wildlife Place! How can I help you?"
Me:*a slur of words so fast because of my phone, but I'm pretty sure I mentioned a pigeon*
Person: "Yeah, you can bring it here, but we close in 30 minutes."

Last call! To Jordan:
Jordan: "Hello?"
Me: "This is an emergency! I saved a pigeon and we have to take it to a hospital! Come quick and meet me! And bring gloves and a box! Hurry, we only have 30 minutes!!!!"
Jordan:.......(sigh)

Jordan did a great job of hiding his excitement as he came and met me to rescue the bird. We scooped it up and drove it 8 miles to an animal hospital and handed him off to the workers there.

It was quite a hassle and the whole process ate up over an hour, but I'm glad we did it. I can sleep better knowing that the pigeon is at least in a safe place for now, instead of worrying about whether or not it was something's dinner tonight. It also reminded me how important life is for all creatures. Really, we all want to survive. (Almost) all animals feel worry and fear. I think it is good to be conscious of each other's feelings...even dirty pigeons. I also believe in Karma, which means if I ran over the poor thing I would probably have a bird poo avalanche on my car tomorrow. Nice save!

P.s. I named it Jimmy.

In case you didn't believe me when I said January sucks....

Yesterday I called my doctor's nurse (she should be on my speed dial by now) and explained that my UTI symptoms were still present and seemed to be getting worse. It is most likely a kidney infection so she had me come in during my lunch break and do a "urine culture" test. She also gave me a different antibiotic.

This morning I came into work and 15 minutes into my morning I threw up. My supervisors don't like to turn a blind eye to employees puking their guts out in the bathroom and told me they would be much more comfortable with me going home. I am completely drained of all my PTO and in debt 5 days, so today gets to be an Unpaid Leave Day. I called my nurse again and she said to not take any more antibiotics until tomorrow, which means more horribly painful pee for me. Yay.

February could not come slower. I promise I will be less whiny next month. For now, I am going to take a 15 hour nap. G'night.

January 2012: Good Riddance

Is it just us, or.....

HAS THIS BEEN THE WORST MONTH IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE?!

Ok, maybe that's a little extreme....worst month of the history of the planet? That's better.

I am truly starting to believe that those crazy Mayans were onto something with their calendar, because so far 2012 has been less than bueno.
It all started with the first weekend of the month/year. Jordan had been complaining about fatigue and never feeling as though he was getting enough rest. He felt pretty nasty and thought that maybe he had walking pneumonia. After a pretty lousy Friday night and Saturday morning we decided to go to the Urgent Care center.....four hours, one x-ray, and several blood tests later we left the clinic with Jordan's diagnosis of mono. D'oh! The timing was less than perfect because Jordan just began his ER rotation which had several night shifts. Jordan continuously apologized for "wasting [my] Saturday" at the clinic with him. I told him I'm sure there will a time when he'll have to spend hours in a hospital with me... when I said this, I was thinking in about a few years when we have a baby; not the following weekend.

Fast forward to the following Monday after the Urgent Care visit. I had a follow up appointment with my Urologist to see how my lithotripsy went in December (In October I was diagnosed with a huge kidney stone and had a pretty easy procedure done in December to shatter it. Since then, I experienced very little pain and was considering myself lucky. Ok, back to the story.) My doctor told me the reason that I had no pain was because nothing happened with kidney stone. It was in the exact same place and did not look any different. Double D'oh! He explained that in order to get it out he would need to get all up in my bid'ness, send a tiny laser up to my kidney and zap the stone. He said that it wouldn't be a big deal and I believed him. I scheduled the procedure for the following Friday (which was Friday the 13th...I should have known).

I was pretty nervous going through the whole laser thingy. Jordan fulfilled my prophecy by staying in the hospital with me all afternoon for it. Before I was knocked out, my doctor talked to me a little and explained that the laser surgery would be easy and only about an hour. Then I fell asleep. I woke up in the recovery room with really sharp pain in my back and lower stomach. The nurses kept politely asking me to stay still. I guess I was being pretty wiggly as I moaned. I also fell back asleep after they shot morphine into my iv. Next I woke up in a different room with Jordan. Jordan explained that the reason I was in unexpected pain is because when my doctor got up to my kidney he realized that I had Infundibular Stenosis, which is a fancy way of saying that my kidney tube that goes from my kidney to my ureter was abnormally small. It was preventing my kidney stone (and other calculus) from passing, so he had to use the lasor to essentially carve out the tubing and make it bigger. Hence, the pain. Not to sound dramatic, but the following weekend I experienced the worst pain I had ever felt in my life. I am officially terrified of childbirth.

The next week I had to miss three days of work, which drained me of vacation days. Boo. Jordan was able to stay home with me for several of those days. Once Friday (one week after the surgery) came, I was feeling a little better and actually left my apartment.

The following week I started to have an increase in pain in my back and in my bladder area. It also stung super bad to pee....which lead to a diagnosis of a urinary tract infection. Boo. So now I am on more pills for that. Also, I had a stent placed in me that had to stay in there for two weeks. When I called my doctor's nurse to ask if I could pull it out (which was the plan), she said yes and warned me that I would need more pain killers to curb the inevitable bladder spasms I would experienced. Yay.

So yeah...January has not been so fun. But despite the crappiness of it all, there were some positives.

My boss was super understanding and sympathetic toward me. She eased my anxiety about missing work.

My mother in law was an amazing help. She brought us dinner several times, helped me with errands, brought me tons of candy, did our grocery shopping, and bought me my new best friend (my heating pad).

Jordan was a HUGE help and never complained once. He slept on the couch next to me (it hurt too bad to sleep in our bed) and would set his alarm for every 3 hours to give me my medicine- even in the middle of the night. He gave a ton of back rubs and would help me go to the bathroom over and over. I really relied on him for the first 3 days for just about everything.

Lastly, I am so grateful for my doctor's nurse. I called her several times (usually in tears) asking about symptoms and help. She was very patient with me and always called me back right away. I'm sure she never wants to see me again after this.

Our good friends had their very first baby and we got to see the new little family. That was a fun reminder that there are some cool things about the hospital too.

So that was our month. There are only three days left of it. Bring on February!!

2011 recap

This year....

I turned 25
We celebrated our 2nd anniversary by going on a cruise (as well as New Orleans)
We got to travel to Seattle and Tuscon to visit family
I got to go to Utah for a weekend to visit family and attend my good friend's wedding
My sister came to visit Tulsa
My cousin got married and I got to go (back to Seattle!)
I "celebrated" my one year anniversary at my job
Jordan began his medical rotations AND his second year of PA school
I got to go to the ER for the first time since I was a a baby (I think)
Had my first ambulance ride (and with those puppies costing $1100 for a one mile ride, I hope it is my last!)
Jordan turned 28 (which I neglected to blog about because our computer was broken)
We got to go Seattle for a wonderful Christmas

aaaaaand I got rid of Pokey (my kidney stone)

We are so excited to begin 2012 because we already know about some of the fun things it will bring (trip to Disneyland, Boise Thanksgiving, and...... Jordan's graduation!!)

Happy New Year's Eve!

Let's just wrap this up.

Yeah, the 30 days of Thanks did NOT work out for me. I didn't have it in me to post everyday, and I figured people didn't want a new post from me to pop up in their Google Reader feed everyday. Instead, let's just knock of the rest of the month out in one entry. Ill pick up from where I left off.

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for....

6. hot water
7. stores that actually carry size 5 shoes (yes, that size of foot exist, almost every store in America)
8. the internet. I'm such an online addict...and I'm cool with that.
9. air conditioning
10. Dollar Tree (my guilty pleasure)
11. inside jokes with family members
12. my family, in general (you guys are aiiiight)
13. my glue gun
14. soldiers. Seriously, thank you.
15. dogs. They make the world happier.
16. the privilege I had to have such a wonderful, non-screwed up childhood
17. medical insurance
18. my education, and
18b. the easy access I had to getting an education
19. the Gospel. Not only it is amazing to understand and know that their is a Savior, but it's also great to be a member of the Church. We Mormons stick together and live in such as tiny Mormon world. There are tons of connections and help. Jordan compares it to being a member of AAA. You need someone to help with X,Y or Z- BAM! Here's three names you can call.
20. vacations. They are so necessary in life.
21. Bubblegum. He is a stuffed dog that I got for Christmas when I was 3 or younger. He accompanied me to many different adventures, sleep overs, and vacations. He even survived being chewed up by my cousin's dog (thanks for reconstructing him, Aunt Lori!). I still have him,
22. MONEY! Does that sound awful? I don't care.
23. my braces and retainer. I think these babies really saved my dating life!
24. hot tubs
25. airplanes. They can be such. a. pain. But they are also fantastic. I dig traveling over 1000 miles in under 6 six hours.
26. patience. This is something I really struggle with holding onto, but I appreciate it so much when other people use it on me.
27. Mascara and eyelash curlers. If I could only wear one type of make up for the rest of my life, it would definitely be mascara.
28. my health. I have several annoying diagnoses but they are NOTHING compared to what others may have. I am so grateful for the freedom that comes with a healthy body.
29. to be an American. There are several flaws in our country, but overall it is still a wonderful country. I read about the horrors that many women face in other countries. It's overwhelming to think how liberated I am compared to them.
30. I'm grateful for Christmastime, which officially starts tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Grateful for Home Depot Boys

Yeah, so....I missed a few days? Are we surprised? No. Do we really care? No. So let's just keep going.

Today I am grateful for the helpful people at Home Depot. I went there this evening and it was same ol' thang...

Take today for example. I walked into Home Depot completely confused and overwhelmed. I knew I needed this tube foam thing but I had no clue where to even begin looking for it. Thankfully a saint dressed in an orange apron could sense my panic and asked if he could help me. I asked the guy,,
" Do you have like, foam tube things?"
"Oh, you mean plumbing insulation?"
"....Uh.... they're like round tubes??"
Turns out it WAS plumbing insulation, which I found out as the employee walked me directly to them.

And of course once I get there, I realize that they are completely out of my reach (like approximately 75% of the merchandise in hardware stores) so I had to ask a friendly stranger t grab the thingy for me. Once I had my foam- I mean pluming insulation- I remembered that I needed another thing. It was decorative aluminum sheet stuff....or at least that is what I was calling it tonight. I thought, maybe I can find it myself. HA!!! After pacing the store for about 10 minutes I was approached by another orange aproned friend.
"You ok, ma'am?"
"Uh, no. I'm lost. *nervous chuckle* I'm looking for um, decorative aluminum sheet....stuff?"
"Oooookay....I think I know what you're talking about. Let's go look."
Sure enough, the guy was speaking my lingo because he took me right to it!

So you would think I would have learned my lesson by now, but noooOOOOooOOoo. I remembered that I wanted to find this one outlet do-hickey that you can screw into your porch light. Surely it is just in the Christmas stuff. I totally got this......I never got it. Feeling defeated, I timidly asked another guy if he had any clue where one could find "the thing that you screw into your balcony light to plug Christmas lights in". He took me to a completely different isle that I was in that I didn't even know existed.

So, thank you, kind Home Depot guys. You made my gratitude list.